How to Help Your Child Talk About Their Feelings

It’s easy to get caught up in our commitments when we live busy lives.

Which is why, today, I wanted to take a moment to remind all parents and caregivers about the importance of talking to your child about their feelings.

When kids behave a certain way, it’s natural for most of us to make assumptions based on what we see or what we think we know. For instance, we might assume that our child’s quiet demeanor means they’re just tired or bored. In reality, they could be feeling overwhelmed or anxious.

A Therapeutic Check-In Tool and Why It Matters

A feelings check-in is a therapeutic tool that invites your child to take a moment to pause and reflect on how they’re feeling at a given time. This could involve describing their emotions in their own words or choosing from a list of emotions if that’s easier for them!

For parents, this practice helps you gain insight into their emotional world. So, the next time they need a listening ear or reassurance, you can provide better support. 

Depending on how they’re feeling, you could teach coping strategies like taking deep breaths, using positive affirmations, or grounding techniques. 

Using a Feelings Check-In to Help Your Child Talk About Their Feelings

1. Set a Time: You can start by picking a consistent time each day, such as after school or before bedtime. The key is to make it a natural part of their day.

2. Get Comfortable: Choose a quiet, comfortable space where they’ll feel comfortable to open up. 

3. Share a Tool: Show them a feelings check-in tool to facilitate the discussion. Our worksheet includes a list of feelings emojis they can choose from and questions asking where they feel emotions in their body, and some of the thoughts they’re having.

4. Validation: Validate their feelings by reflecting back what you hear. For example, if your child says, “I feel sad because I didn’t do well on my test,” you might respond with, “It sounds like you’re feeling really disappointed about the test results.”

5. Role Model and Practice Together: Practice coping strategies together. This helps them feel more confident in using these techniques independently.

Keep these feelings conversations judgment-free and consistent. These moments of emotional expression may just be the most important thing we do for them today.

*This article was originally published in our email newsletter on November 26, 2024.