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As we continue to support your child’s social and emotional development, I wanted to discuss a valuable Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill that allows them to have healthy relationships with others.

After all, our kids need healthy relationships to thrive.

This technique is called FAST.

dbt fast skill pdf

FAST is an acronym that teaches kids to communicate their needs and set boundaries in a respectful manner.

FAST: How to Teach Your Kids This Skill for Healthy Relationships

F - FAIR: This means treating others, including themselves, with equal respect. Let’s say they’re playing with friends, and one friend is making all the decisions. Using FAIR, your child can suggest taking turns so everyone feels included!

A - APOLOGIES: A child must understand that they should not over-apologize or apologize unnecessarily for their boundaries. For instance, if they feel overwhelmed and need some quiet time, they can simply say to a friend, “I think I need to take a break,” without saying sorry for needing personal space.

S - STICK TO VALUES: A child remains true to their values even when it feels difficult. Examples of values might include honesty, accountability, and kindness. Suppose your child’s classmates are urging them to join in on a prank. Your child can assertively explain that they would prefer not to participate.

T - TRUTHFUL: This means communicating honestly without deceiving others or exaggerating the situation. If your child is struggling with a complex project, they can tell a friend or parent, “I’m having trouble. Can you help me out?”

Whether your child is requesting support, facing peer pressure, resolving a conflict, or even negotiating with you as their parent or caregiver—the FAST skill can help!

To help reinforce this concept, I recommend having them complete this simple worksheet that allows them to think of ways they can apply FAST in their own life.

*This article was originally published in our email newsletter on November 12, 2024.

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