Do Parents See It Clearly? Research on the Reality of Children’s School Engagement

Schools and families both play important roles in keeping students engaged in learning. Parents often look at things like attendance, grades, and parent-teacher meetings to understand how their child is doing in school. However, these things don’t always show how involved or interested a student is in their learning.

A research study based on over 65,000 students and nearly 2,000 parents reveals that parents are largely unaware of how engaged their children truly are. This is not due to parental neglect but rather a lack of in-depth communication between schools and families about the quality of students’ learning experiences.

The findings show that parents often think their children are more engaged in school than they really are. For example, only 26% of 10th graders say they love school, but 65% of parents believe their child does. Also, while only 44% of students feel they learn a lot most of the time, 72% of parents think this is true.

Parents also assume their children often take part in meaningful learning activities, like developing their own ideas and using critical thinking, much more than students say they do.

This difference in perception creates a “disengagement gap” between what parents believe and what students actually experience.

Understanding the Research

In 2022, Transcend created a survey to understand how students feel about their learning experiences in school. Instead of directly measuring engagement, the survey focused on things that influence it, like feeling safe, having support when struggling, and being able to explore personal interests.

Students also shared whether they had a say in their learning, if they were encouraged to think beyond memorization, and if they felt like they belonged at school.

The study uncovered the following key insights about students’ school experiences:

• Less than 10% of students say their school encourages them to explore new ideas and connect learning to real life.
• Younger students are more likely to say they love school and learn a lot. In 3rd grade, 74% of students say they love school, but this drops to 42% in middle school and only 26% by 10th grade.
• Even though high school courses become more challenging, students say they actually learn less as they get older.
• Many parents believe their kids love school and are learning a lot, but students report a different reality. Parents also assume their children often engage in deep learning and critical thinking, when in reality, fewer students feel this way.
• Where a student goes to school affects their experience. Students in suburban schools are more likely to have learning experiences that encourage active engagement and personal growth. This may be due to differences in resources and the teaching methods used.

Practical Strategies for Parents and Caregivers 

Traditional ways of checking in — like a student’s grades and attendance — may not always tell the whole story. Instead, parents and caregivers can take a more active role in understanding their child’s learning experience.

Here are some helpful tips:

Have open and honest conversations about their learning

One of the best ways to understand a child’s school experience is to ask open-ended questions about their day. Instead of only asking, “How was school?” try asking, “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?” or “Did you get to share your own ideas in class?”

Such questions allow children to think deeper about their learning experiences. As parents, we can also share our own experiences from when we were in school.

Encourage real-world learning

Since the study found that fewer than 10% of students feel encouraged to connect learning to real life, parents can help change this by showing how school subjects apply to everyday life.

For example, they can use math while cooking, read books for fun, or explore science through simple experiments. Take them on educational trips to museums, libraries, or historical sites!

Stay in touch with their teachers

Stay involved by attending school events and checking in with teachers — not just about your child’s grades but also about their interest in class. Do they participate in discussions? Do they seem curious about new topics? What topics seem to excite them?

These questions can provide insight into their engagement. Remember that a stronger partnership between you and your child’s teachers can make a huge difference in keeping them engaged.

The authors suggest that schools should create more opportunities for students to explore their interests. They recommend offering more activities, giving students more choices in class, and redesigning schools to promote curiosity.

Help your child stay engaged with our Growth Mindset posters! You can also explore our complete collection to support their mental health.