How to Be a Good Father: 12 Tips to Becoming a Great Dad

The meaning of fatherhood has evolved over time. Centuries ago, being a great dad meant providing moral guidance to their children, but over time, the father role shifted to becoming the breadwinner [*]. Nowadays, if you asked others for tips on how to be a good father, one common answer might be to become a nurturing father.

This brief historical overview depicting different portraits of fatherhood has implications for what it means to be a great dad in this day and age. Becoming a good dad in the 21st century no longer stops at economic provision. Rather, it now includes other parenting practices necessary to leave a positive impact on children’s development and well-being.

If the standards of what it means to be a great dad have changed over the years, though, then what defines a great father today? And what should fathers learn on the road to becoming a better dad?

What Defines a Great Father?

Although it may be virtually impossible to provide a universal and objective definition of what it means to be a great dad, perhaps a rough sketch of ideal characteristics of a father will suffice.

Broadly speaking, becoming a good dad means being nurturing, loving, and affectionate. A great dad is also involved in the lives of his children, and he raises them in a consistent manner.  More specifically, a man can be the best dad if he is able to influence his children positively by caring for them; providing moral and ethical guidance; supporting his family emotionally, practically, and psychosocially; and more traditionally, providing for the family financially [*].

How to Be a Good Father: 12 Tips to Becoming a Great Dad

How does a father know that he is on the way to becoming a good dad?
Although there are a multitude of ways on how to be a good father, this article lists the best parenting practices that make for an effective father. The following sections discuss 12 tips to becoming a better dad, as reported by a study examining fatherhood [*].

1. Be a good role model

In a child’s formative years, the majority of their behavior is learned by observing the behavior of others, especially that of their parents [*]. Thus, to be a great dad, it is important to model good behavior. There are many ways to accomplish this. For instance, by simply communicating clearly with your children, you set an example of what social interactions with others entail.

2. Set limits and boundaries

Setting limits and boundaries is a good disciplinary practice to prevent children from suffering the repercussions of bad behavior. However, it is important that you correct or consequence bad behavior in a loving manner. Out of all of the types of parenting styles, this approach, better known as authoritative parenting, has proven to be the most effective. Although it may be tempting to practice authoritarian parenting, refrain from doing so. This is because harmful disciplinary strategies may lead to lower self-esteem in your child. In contrast, disciplining your child by clearly communicating how you want them to behave facilitates self-control, emotional regulation, and prosocial behaviors [*].

Keep in mind as well that when enforcing rules on what constitutes good and bad behavior, it is imperative that you be consistent. In doing so, you can promote your child’s ability to manage their behavior on their own [*].

3. Express love as much as you can

Showing love is important to becoming a good dad. After all, love and affection are what make for a nurturing environment.

There are many ways you can express your love. For one, you can make sure that your kids feel safe and protected. You should also show that you are emotionally available. Be open to conversations about your child’s personal and emotional life.

It is inevitable that your kid will disobey you or exhibit undesirable behavior, which may make it difficult for you to express love and affection. In this case, it may be helpful to practice positive parenting. This parenting approach deals with children by focusing more on their strengths rather than merely trying to correct their weaknesses.

4. Care and provide for your kids

The traditional father is defined by assuming the breadwinner role, and to an extent, this still rings true. However, caring and providing for your kids is much more than that. Provision of care entails not just satisfying your child’s basic physiological needs but also providing emotional and psychosocial support, as well as guidance and wisdom.

5. Learn how to sacrifice in your child’s best interest

It may be tempting to think that sacrificing implies slaving away at one’s job to earn more income for the family’s material necessities. However, to be a great dad, you need to recognize that your time and energy should not be solely devoted to supporting your kids financially or economically. Sacrifice can also entail being around your child enough that they have the opportunity to interact with and learn from you. If your kid has a soccer game after school, be there to cheer them on. If there is a parent-teacher conference scheduled, make time to meet with their teachers. These moments of sacrifice of your time and energy can go a long way.

6. Be available to help as much as you can

Helping your child in whatever shape or form is part and parcel of becoming a good dad. However, some dads may not know exactly how they can extend help to their kids. As a result, they may inadvertently decrease their involvement and closeness out of a fear of failure or incompetence [*].

Learning how to be a good father is an experiential, trial-and-error process. This means that on the road to becoming a better dad, you may make some mistakes, which is why building your parenting skills is essential to ensure that you do know how to help your child. You can do this by participating in formal skill-development programs, attending parenting classes, and reading parenting books on how to be a good father.

7. Be open and listen

Another way to be a great dad is to practice active listening and empathic understanding with your child, both aspects of mindful parenting. The benefits of engaging with your child in this way are numerous, including improvements in the child’s emotional intelligence, self-regulation, mental health, and self-esteem [*].

8. Teach children what you have learned

Children do not learn only from their teachers at school. The reality is that a child’s first teachers are their parents. This does not necessarily mean that becoming a good dad requires you to help your child with their algebra homework. Rather, being a teacher to your children can be based on your own personal experiences. Perhaps you learned important values from your own parents. Alternatively, you may have learned certain life lessons growing up. It may help your child considerably if you pass along your knowledge and wisdom to them.

9. Take an active and interested role in your child’s life

Becoming a better dad means becoming involved in various aspects of your child’s life. Show interest in their hobbies and pastimes by suggesting that you do them together. In addition, observe your child—their strengths, skills, preferences, and dislikes—so that you can find ways to connect with them. Such paternal involvement leads to children being better able to tolerate stress, solve problems, and adapt to situations [*].

10. Give your child space to make their own choices

It can be a struggle to strike a balance between protecting your kid from potential harm and allowing them to have some autonomy. However, finding this balance is essential to becoming a good dad. If you allow your child the opportunity to make their own decisions, especially early on, they will also learn how to be more self-reliant—a characteristic that is crucial later on in adulthood [*].

11. Admit your mistakes

To be a great dad, you need to hold yourself accountable if you made a mistake. This goes hand in hand with the first tip of how to be a good father, which is to be a good role model. Accepting responsibility for your shortcomings as both a dad and a human being will not only humanize you and strengthen your relationship with your children but also demonstrate to them that humility is an honorable virtue to have.

12. Be the father your children can be proud of

Upon learning all of the previously discussed tips on becoming a good dad, you may feel overwhelmed, not knowing how and where to begin. In the event that you forget some of these tips, it may be helpful to simply keep in mind that the best dad is someone whom their child can proudly call their own. With that said, if you find yourself behaving in a way that is unbecoming of a great dad, then it may be helpful to reflect on what would make your child proud of you. This can help you engage in regular efforts of self-improvement.

The Bottom Line

Becoming a good dad may seem like an insurmountable task, but it is crucial to learn how to be the best dad you can be so that you can positively influence your child’s behavior and personality development. Fortunately, there are many resources available to enhance your parenting skills, such as this article, as well as these character education posters, which you can use to aid in facilitating your child’s character development.

References:

1. Morman MT and Floyd K. Good fathering: Father and son perceptions of what it means to be a good father. 2006.
2. King Coughlan SM. Empowering fathers and father figures in their caregiving role: The caregiver and provider perspective. 2024.
3. Lamb ME and Tamis-Lemonda CS. The role of the father: An introduction. 2004.
4. Wurm F, Austen C, McLauglin, K, and others. A qualitative exploration of the intergenerational transmission on fathers' discipline methods and involvement in child rearing. 2022.
5. Wilodati W, Komariah S, and Wulandari P. Father as a caregiver: The thipology of father parenting style while mother doesn’t exist and the effect to child autonomy. 2018.