Research on Students’ Willingness to Ask for Help in School

Many students struggle with asking for help in school, especially when they feel lonely or unsure of themselves.

A study published in Sustainability found that students who felt emotionally lonely were less likely to ask for help because they saw it as emotionally difficult or even threatening. On the other hand, students who had strong social support and believed in their own academic and social abilities were more likely to see the benefits of asking for help.

These results show that emotions like loneliness and confidence can influence how students feel about seeking support in school.

Understanding the Research

The goal of this study was to learn more about why some students ask for help with schoolwork and why others don’t. (Asking for help is an important way students learn and stay motivated, but not everyone feels comfortable doing it.)

The researchers wanted to see if students’ emotions and social support — like how lonely they feel or how much support they get from friends and family — affect their attitude toward asking for help in school.

To study this, researchers gave surveys to 232 students in Spain, ages 14 to 23.

These students answered questions during class about how they feel when asking for help, whether they see it as helpful or scary, and how often they avoid asking.

They also answered questions about their happiness, support from others, and how they see themselves in school and social situations. The surveys were carefully chosen and tested to make sure the questions made sense and were reliable.

After collecting all the answers, the researchers used a program to look for patterns in the data. They checked if there were differences between boys and girls, and they looked for connections between how students felt emotionally and how they thought about asking for help.

The team also used regression analysis to see which emotional or social factors could predict students’ attitudes.

What Did They Find?

Their results show that feeling supported and connected makes a positive impact, and feeling lonely can make it harder for students to reach out when they need help. These were the main findings:

• Girls scored higher than boys on emotional cost (how hard it feels to ask for help) and avoidance of help.
• Emotional loneliness explained 15% of why students felt asking for help was emotionally hard. This means loneliness was the strongest factor in making students avoid help.
• Social support, academic self-concept, social self-concept, and social network ratings explained 20% of why students saw asking for help as a good thing.
• Feeling happy, satisfied with life, and having a good self-concept were all positively linked to seeing the benefits of help-seeking.
• Avoiding help was linked to feeling lonely and having low happiness, low academic self-concept, and low social self-concept.
• Feeling threatened by asking for help was also linked to emotional loneliness and lower academic self-concept. 

Practical Strategies for Parents and Caregivers

We’ve seen that seeking help can feel like a big step for kids. As parents and caregivers, we can help our children find the courage to do it. Here are some tips:

Let them know that asking for help is a strength

Some children worry that asking for help means they’re not smart or capable. This belief can come from things they’ve seen at school, pressure to be perfect, or even comparing themselves to others.

Unfortunately, when kids hold onto this idea, they’re less likely to ask questions. As adults, we can start by reminding them that even the smartest people ask questions. In fact, we can tell them that asking questions shows curiosity and a desire to grow.

Introduce routines at home that support mental wellness

A healthy body helps create a strong and calm mind. Kids think and feel better when they get enough rest, eat well, move their bodies, and take breaks.

Start with the basics: set a regular bedtime that allows for enough sleep, plan balanced meals, and make time for daily movement — even if it’s just a walk.

Teach and practice their social skills

When it comes to school, good social skills can make it easier for children to ask teachers or classmates for help without feeling embarrassed.

For example, a child might need to say, “I don’t get this,” or “Can you help me understand?” These may sound simple, but if a child feels shy or worried about what others think, they might stay quiet instead of asking.

Start with role-playing at home. Also, give them chances to speak up in real life — like ordering food, asking a librarian for help, or talking to a store clerk.

The researchers suggest that future studies should consider a wider range of factors and different student groups to better understand what influences academic help-seeking.

Try our Coping Skills Worksheets to help kids manage stress and emotions, and our Social Skills Worksheets to help them build friendships and feel more connected to others.