Toddler Behavior Issues: What’s Normal and When to Worry

Raising a toddler is no easy feat. Sometimes, they cry, scream, kick, and even bite! As a parent, it can be frustrating when your child can’t communicate using words.  Toddler behavior issues are a normal part of life, but sometimes they can get out of hand.

Learn what behavioral issues in toddlers are normal and discover the signs that something might be wrong.

Common Toddler Behavior Issues That Are Totally Normal

Toddlers often test limits, and it isn’t uncommon for them to engage in challenging behaviors. They might become defiant and clingy, but these are normal parts of development. Here are a few seemingly worrisome behaviors that are actually quite normal.

Tantrums and emotional outbursts

Temper tantrums are common among children between the ages of 1 and 3, as they don’t yet possess the ability to express themselves verbally [*]. When children are tired, hungry, or sleepy and can’t communicate this, they tend to become frustrated and lash out.

Parents should note that temper tantrums typically slow down by age 2, and most children completely outgrow severe tantrums by age 3 or 4 [*].

Saying “no”

Between the ages of 2 and 3, children start loving the word “no.” They might outwardly refuse simple requests even when they mean yes as a form of testing control and practicing independence.

Remember, your child is likely just trying to see how far they can push boundaries. It may help to give them limited choices (for example, choosing between a blue and red jacket), as this encourages them to think versus simply blurting out another “no.”

Separation anxiety

Missing a parent when separated is common in toddlers. A child might cry or run after a parent when they see them leaving as a sign of strong attachment. It’s most common to see separation anxiety in children between 15 and 18 months through age 3, and especially when they’re starting preschool [*].

Fortunately, consistent routines can reduce separation anxiety. Eventually, children become less clingy when they anticipate predictable transitions.

Hitting, biting, or throwing

Hitting, biting, and throwing aren’t always out of the ordinary, but they can be alarming. When toddlers experience big emotions and can’t express themselves through words, they might demonstrate physical frustration.

Isolated incidents are normal, but parents should be firm if the behavior becomes more frequent. Keep it simple by telling your child, “No. Hitting hurts.” 

How to Manage Common Toddler Behavior Issues at Home

Positive and consistent discipline is the key to managing typical toddler behavior issues at home. Most experts favor positive reinforcement over punishment, as it encourages children to continue good habits.

The first step is setting clear, consistent rules and boundaries. Keep it simple, such as “Speak kindly to others” and “Always take turns when playing.” If your child has made a mistake, take the time to explain. Use calm words and actions to show your child what behaviors you expect of them.

When your child behaves well, offer specific praise. For example, you might say, “It was very nice of you to ask to borrow your sister’s toys!” Positive reinforcement encourages children to repeat good behaviors.

You should also model good behavior, as children often imitate their parents. Show them what it looks like to take turns and ask for something nicely.

When Should I Worry About My Toddler's Behavior?

Again, while the occasional tantrum or whining is typical, there may come a point where your child’s behavior seems out of control. Here are some signs it might be time to intervene.

Excessively aggressive or destructive

If you’ve noticed your child’s aggressive outbursts becoming frequent, intense, or prolonged, it may be time to consult your pediatrician. Aggressive toddler behaviors you’ll want to flag include leaving marks on others, kicking, or destroying toys.

Extreme sensitivity or withdrawal

Many toddlers will cycle their moods, which can sometimes look like “mood swings.” However, a child being passive and withdrawn may signal a deeper issue. Toddlers who are always unsatisfied might be showing signs of early anxiety and depression.

Regressive behaviors that don’t go away

Sometimes, toddlers regress by wetting the bed or crying, which is common during transitional periods or when they have new siblings. However, it can be concerning when a child’s regressive behaviors become a new norm. Spot signs like constantly needing a diaper, thumb-sucking, being overly clingy, or not talking.

Consistent delays in communication or social skills

If your child is already talking and suddenly stops or takes a while to develop their speech, it could be a sign of a developmental delay. If a child doesn’t express their interests or fails to engage in play, it may be helpful to schedule a developmental screening.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you’re generally concerned or notice your toddler is acting significantly out of character, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Start by consulting your child’s pediatrician. Bring up your concerns in detail—give examples of your child’s behavior, the frequency of this behavior, and how this behavior affects those around them.

If your child’s pediatrician notices signs of depression or anxiety, they may refer you to a mental health specialist.

Worried about your child’s development? The CDC offers Early Intervention programs that can address delays in communication, motor skills, and socialization.

Supporting Your Toddler’s Emotional Development

While managing misbehavior is a core solution to your child’s potential development problems, supporting them goes beyond stopping tantrums and providing comfort.

As a parent, it’s vital to help your child grow emotionally. One of the foundations of an emotionally developed child is a strong emotional vocabulary. When your child experiences big emotions, help them learn words for these feelings. Start simple with words like “sad,” “mad,” or “tired.”

Use worksheets like a Feelings Wheel to help your child learn to label their emotions. Remember to validate your child’s feelings—recognize that what they’re going through is real.

From here, you can start building empathy. If you’re with your child in a social setting, such as at the park or after school, try people-watching. Ask your child to observe facial expressions and body language. You can also do this at home while giving your child simple tasks to help out. For instance, if they see that their friend or sibling looks hurt, encourage your child to ask them what’s wrong and how they can help.

Finally, tie everything together with the right coping skills. For instance, you can introduce a simple calming routine like star breathing or positive daily affirmations. Encourage them to go to you or a trusted adult when they’re experiencing big emotions.

Remind them that it’s safer and healthier to express their feelings with words rather than through physical outbursts. If your child seems to need a physical outlet, offer one. For instance, if your child is feeling angry, they can try screaming into a pillow, doing jumping jacks, or practicing other anger coping skills.

The Bottom Line

All toddlers engage in some form of defiance, clinginess, and unwanted behavior—it’s a normal part of growing up! Through calm and consistent parenting, positive discipline, and clear rules, you can help prevent behavioral issues in toddlers.

Find other ways to support your child’s emotional development by using our collection of social emotional learning worksheets.

Sources:

1. Van, Hoffenaar P, Overbeek G. “Temper Tantrums in Toddlers and Preschoolers: Longitudinal Associations with Adjustment Problems.” Journal of Developmental &Behavioral Pediatrics, 2022.
2. A Sahib El-Radhi. “Management of common behaviour and mental health problems.” British Journal of Nursing, 2015.
3. Feriante J, Torrico TJ, Bernstein B. “Separation Anxiety Disorder.” Nih.gov, 2023.