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Key Takeaways:
- There are 4 main parenting styles — authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.
- Among these types, authoritative parenting is considered the healthiest and most balanced approach.
- Parenting styles may change over time and can improve as parents learn alongside their children.
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Parenting isn’t always easy. One moment, your child is happily playing, and the next, they’re arguing about bedtime or refusing to eat their food. If you’ve ever wondered why kids act the way they do — or if there’s a better way to guide them — you’re not alone. Many experts believe that the types of parenting styles can influence a child’s behavior and how they deal with challenges [*].
In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind studied how parents interact with their children and found 4 common styles. We’ll discuss them in this article and how they compare.
The 4 Types of Parenting Styles
Some parents stick to one method, while others may adjust their style depending on the situation. Let’s take a closer look at the 4 main parenting styles below.
1. Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parents are warm and supportive, but they also set clear rules and expect their children to follow them. When discipline is needed, they focus on teaching and guiding the child rather than punishing them.
They make sure their children understand the reasons behind their rules and consequences. They also encourage independence and open communication.
Children who are raised this way tend to be confident, responsible, and do well in school. They feel safe knowing what’s expected, and they feel respected because their opinions matter. This style helps children learn how to manage their emotions, make positive choices, and stay in control even in challenging situations [*].
What authoritative parenting looks like: A child wants to stay up late. An authoritative parent says, “I know you want more time, but sleep helps you grow and focus in school. You can stay up a little later on weekends.”
2. Authoritarian Parenting Style
Authoritarian parents are strict and expect their children to follow rules without questioning them. Instead of guidance, they use punishment and may not explain the reasons behind their decisions.
These parents believe that being in control is the most important part of raising children, and they rarely ask for the child’s input.
Children raised this way may be well-behaved and good at following rules, but they tend to feel nervous or unsure of themselves. Since they’re expected to meet high standards and follow instructions exactly as given, they might not get many chances to express their opinions. As a result, they can struggle with decision-making and managing their emotions.
What authoritarian parenting looks like: A child talks back, and the parent responds, “Because I said so. No more talking — go to your room.” There’s no discussion or chance for the child to explain their side.
3. Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parents are very loving and accepting, but they don’t set many rules or limits. This parenting style involves being highly responsive to a child’s needs while offering little structure. These parents tend to avoid enforcing boundaries and allow kids to manage their own behavior.
Since they want to keep the peace and avoid conflict, they may say “yes” most of the time and take on more of a friend role than that of a caregiver.
Research shows that children who are raised by permissive parents may struggle to manage their emotions, especially anger, because they aren’t consistently taught how to reflect on their behavior [*].
What permissive parenting looks like: A child refuses to do their homework. The parent tells them, “It’s okay, you’ve had a long day. Just do it later if you feel like it,” instead of setting a clear boundary.
4. Neglectful Parenting Style
Neglectful parents are not very involved in their children’s lives. They might give their kids food and a place to live, but they don’t give much attention, support, or care.
Like permissive parents, they don’t set many rules. But they are even less caring when it comes to their child’s feelings. This can happen if the parent is too busy, stressed out, or doesn’t realize how much their child needs love and guidance.
Those with neglectful parents may have trouble with their school, friendships, and managing their feelings. Others might run away from home or even turn to substances as they get older. These problems happen because the child doesn’t get the love, attention, and guidance they need.
What neglectful parenting looks like: A child spends most of the evening alone, with no one checking on their homework, meals, or how they’re feeling. The parent is busy or not paying attention.
Parenting Style Comparison Chart
Each parenting style sends a different message to children. Here’s a quick look at how they compare.
| Parenting Style
|
What the Parent is Like |
How It Affects the Child |
| Authoritative |
Warm, sets clear rules, explains reasons, and listens to the child |
Confident, responsible, good at handling emotions and school responsibilities |
| Authoritarian |
Very strict, expects rules to be followed without question, little warmth |
Obedient but may feel nervous, unsure, or afraid to speak up |
| Permissive |
Kind and loving, but doesn’t set many rules or limits |
Struggles with self-control, may get upset easily, or ignore rules |
| Neglectful |
Not involved, doesn’t give much attention, care, or guidance |
Feels alone or unwanted, may have problems at school or with friends |
Which Parenting Style Works Best?
While authoritative parenting is seen as the most effective approach, no parenting style guarantees perfect results. Children are individuals with their own personalities, experiences, and challenges.
Even with your best guidance, they will still face disappointments and failures in life — that’s a normal part of growing up. Remember that the goal of parenting isn’t to prevent mistakes from happening. Instead, it's about teaching them how to cope, learn, and grow from their experiences.
How to Recognize and Adjust Your Parenting Style
If your child is having behavior issues, it may be time to look at your parenting style. Change can be hard, but it’s possible — and helpful — for both you and your child. You can begin by recalling how you were raised. What worked? What didn’t?
Some parents switch from one style to another, such as going from strict to overly lenient. However, finding a middle ground is usually best.
Talking with a therapist can help you understand how your past affects your parenting and support you in building a better plan moving forward.
Tips for Improving Your Parenting Style
Improving your parenting style starts with self-awareness. Take time to reflect on how you react to your child’s behavior and ask yourself why. Sometimes, certain actions or situations trigger strong emotions — like yelling when you feel disrespected. These triggers may come from your own experiences growing up or from stress in your daily life. Notice them so you can respond more thoughtfully.
Another helpful tip is to set clear and consistent boundaries. Children feel safer when there are clear routines and expectations in place. For example, letting them know they need to finish homework before screen time teaches responsibility.It also helps to seek support when needed. You can turn to parenting books and workshops, or talk to other parents to gain new ideas and receive encouragement. You don’t have to do it alone.
The Bottom Line
No parent gets everything right all the time, and that’s okay. What matters most is your willingness to stay connected to your child and keep learning along the way.
If you need extra support, check out our full collection of mental health worksheets for kids and teens. You can also read our research articles on children’s mental health for deeper insights to support your parenting journey.
FAQs About Parenting Styles
Can parenting styles be mixed?
Yes, mixing parenting styles can work, and many parents do this naturally depending on the situation, their child’s needs, or their own energy. For instance, a parent might be firm about screen time but more flexible when their child is upset.
Sometimes, each parent may use a different approach, but it’s important to be consistent so kids don’t get confused by mixed messages.
Can parenting styles change over time?
Yes, parenting styles can change as kids grow. A parent might start off being more strict or hands-on, but later become more relaxed or flexible. As children become more independent, parents tend to give them more space and change how they guide and support them.
References:
- Sanvictores, T., & Mendez, M. D. (2022). Types of parenting styles and effects on children. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568743/
- Lavrič, M., & Naterer, A. (2020). The power of authoritative parenting: A cross-national study of effects of exposure to different parenting styles on life satisfaction. Children and Youth Services Review, 116, 105274. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.105274
- Kawabata, Y., Alink, L. R., Tseng, W., Van IJzendoorn, M. H., & Crick, N. R. (2011). Maternal and paternal parenting styles associated with relational aggression in children and adolescents: A conceptual analysis and meta-analytic review. Developmental Review, 31(4), 240-278. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2011.08.001
