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Key Takeaways:
- There are four widely recognized parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved.
- Authoritative parenting styles are most common and highly recommended for positive outcomes for children in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
- Culture plays a significant role in determining the parenting styles used by parents, guardians, or caregivers of children.
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Parenting is a challenging yet rewarding endeavor. But how do we decide how to raise our children? Many people who have kids, whether they parent alone or with a partner, have asked this question. It can be overwhelming when choosing types of parenting styles to follow, especially since these styles can vary from person to person. Here, we’ll walk you through the different parenting styles identified by researchers over the years and their impact on children.
Authoritative Parenting Style
This parenting style is all about being responsive, nurturing, and supportive while setting firm limits for children [*]. Let’s look at the details of this parenting style.
Characteristics
The authoritative parenting style is characterized by a balance between independence and structure. It allows children to grow within reasonable boundaries while still exploring their abilities and desires. While parents who use this style implement strict standards that they expect their children to abide by, they also provide support by fostering an emotionally caring environment that builds trust.
This style of parenting is sometimes called “tough but fair.” Children have the space to make mistakes without fear of judgment while still having a structure that provides guidance. Other characteristics of authoritative parenting include supportive rather than punitive disciplinary measures and being assertive but not intrusive and restrictive.
Impact on children
Children raised using an authoritative parenting style are usually confident, happy, and successful. They are more likely to make good decisions and evaluate risks better on their own. Authoritative parenting is connected to academic achievement, heightened self-esteem, and resilience [*].
Children with authoritative parents tend to have the following:
- Positive and nurturing relationship with parents
- Tendency to be respectful and responsible
- High sense of self-esteem, confidence, and self-regulation
- A higher likelihood of being happy and successful
- Better ability to manage their aggression
- Better ability to clearly express their emotions
Children who are raised with this style of parenting can be trusted to make the right decisions on their own. These kids also tend to set high expectations for themselves. They tend to perform well academically and socially, and they are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol. This may be helpful for parenting children with different needs, such as the highly sensitive child.
Example of an authoritative parenting style
There are many examples where authoritative parenting styles can be seen. One situation where it clearly shows is during mealtimes.
Rather than imposing strict restrictions and rules, authoritative parents model eating behaviors. They will typically include kids during meal preparation and involve them in the decision-making, such as choosing what to have for dinner one night a week. Research shows that authoritative parenting leads to better outcomes in weight management and eating habits in children [*].
Related Article: Mindful Parenting: Benefits, Tips, and Examples
Authoritarian Parenting Style
Authoritarian parents are much more rigid than authoritative parents and implement tough rules for their children to follow. Learn more about this type of parenting below.
Characteristics
Authoritarian parenting styles are characterized by the strict enforcement of rules that children are expected to follow without question. These rules are not open for interpretation, compromise, or further discussion. This parenting style is also known for using punishments when rules are violated to ensure obedience from children. Affection is not usually expressed, if at all.
Impact on children
This approach to parenting can have negative consequences on children that can follow them into adulthood. Children who were raised by authoritarian parents often have trouble with the following:
- Making decisions for themselves
- Choosing right from wrong independently
- Self-esteem issues
- Needing confirmation of their worth from outside authority figures
Authoritarian parenting does not seem to instill lasting lessons. Children will often act out in their parents' absence and seek guidance from someone else, both of which are signs that your child does not respect you.
Example of an authoritarian parenting style
Let us use the same example of mealtimes to illustrate the authoritarian parenting style.
Unlike authoritative parents who involve their children in the decision-making and preparation of meals for the family, authoritarian parents are more likely to enforce strict rules. They may require everyone to eat simultaneously and enforce punishments for not finishing on their plate. The family is less likely to discuss why they eat certain foods and how they contribute to culture, health, and well-being.
Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parenting styles don’t implement rules or structures that may upset their children. Here are the characteristics of this type of parenting.
Characteristics
The permissive parenting style is considered the opposite of the authoritarian parenting style. It is characterized by the non-implementation of rules or structures that may go against what the child wants. Parents who use this style usually give their children what they want. They also often act as peers or friends to their kids.
Impact on children
While being extra responsive to your child’s needs can be beneficial, the lack of structure can have negative consequences. Parents who practice a permissive parenting style may end up with entitled or anxious children who develop those traits because no one is taking charge.
Since children have high authority and standing in the household, children of permissive parents are used to getting what they want. This can lead to behavioral problems as they are not used to authority and rules.
Some downsides of permissive parenting include the following:
- Difficulty making decisions
- Lack of responsibility
- Lack of independence
- Struggling academically
- Anxiety
- Depression
Children who undergo this style of parenting may become egotistical, selfish, and entitled. They may also refuse or fail to put any effort into school, work, and social endeavors since they are not expected to do so at home. If your child is constantly angry as a result of this type of parenting, you may need to use certain rules to parent an angry child.
Permissive parents may also raise children with a greater risk of developing health problems, such as a high BMI and obesity, as they struggle to limit unhealthy food intake or promote regular exercise [*]. Children are also more likely to develop cavities since permissive parents do not enforce good habits such as tooth brushing.
Example of a permissive parenting style
Let us use the same example of mealtimes mentioned above to illustrate permissive parenting. In this parenting style, parents are lax about the foods their children have, allowing them to choose whatever they want. Parents will even go out of their way to provide what their children desire.
This may lead to picky eating and unhealthy dietary choices. Not only is permissive parenting associated with a lower intake of fruits and vegetables, but it may also result in children experiencing difficulty being flexible with food options in social settings.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
Also known as the neglectful parenting style, uninvolved parents often ignore their children and offer little guidance, nurturing, and attention. Read on to learn more about this parenting style.
Characteristics
Parents who practice the uninvolved or neglectful parenting style do not interact much with their children. This parenting style is characterized by the non-implementation of any structure or rules. These parents also do not show much affection to their children or get involved with their kids’ lives. Children are mostly left to fend for themselves.
Impact on children
This parenting style can negatively impact children, especially when taken to the extreme. Even if it is not physically damaging, the emotional and psychological consequences of this parenting style can be severe. It can lead to children:
- Having difficulty forming close relationships
- Becoming depressed
- Lashing out by taking part in delinquent or hostile behavior
- Having failed relationships
- Cutting themselves off from others
Neglectful parents may also raise children who develop attachment issues. This is a result of a fleeting or absent parent-child bond or relationship.
Example of an uninvolved parenting style
Uninvolved parents are very inconsistent when it comes to mealtimes at home. They might not plan meals or even buy groceries at all, leaving children to fend for themselves. As a result, children may become preoccupied with food and often eat too much when food does become available, leading to obesity.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some commonly asked questions regarding styles of parenting.
What is the most common parenting style?
While most parents adopt mixed parenting styles, the authoritative parenting style is most common [*].
What type of parenting style is most recommended?
The most recommended parenting style is the authoritative parenting style. Clear communication, structure and support, and age-appropriate standards allow for the development of emotionally stable adults who can navigate life more successfully.
What role does culture play in parenting styles?
Culture plays a significant role in shaping parenting styles by influencing parents' values, beliefs, and goals for their children.
Individualistic cultures may favor authoritative or permissive styles, while collectivistic cultures may emphasize authoritarian approaches. Values like respect for elders, gender roles, and academic achievement can shape discipline, expectations, and child-rearing practices [*].
Are there any other types of parenting styles?
There are many other parenting style subtypes, including helicopter parenting, free-range parenting, snowplow parenting, lighthouse parenting, attachment parenting, parallel parenting, and tiger parenting.
The Bottom Line
There's no perfect parenting style, but by understanding the different approaches and their potential effects, you can find a balance that works for your family. Your child's needs will change over time, so be flexible and adjust your approach as they grow. The most important thing is to create a loving and supportive environment that fosters your child's unique potential.
If you need tips on parenting an anxious child or want to learn how to support children with specific needs, then do not hesitate to contact a qualified professional.
References:
- American Psychological Association. Parenting Styles. 2017.
- Hayek J, Schneider F, Lahoud N, et al. Authoritative parenting stimulates academic achievement, also partly via self-efficacy and intention towards getting good grades. 30 March 2022.
- Lopez N, Schembre S, Belcher B, et al. Parenting styles, food-related parenting practices, and children’s healthy eating: A mediation analysis to examine relationships between parenting and child diet. 18 June 2018.
- Hayek J, Tueni M, F Schneider, et al. Parenting style as longitudinal predictor of adolescents’ health behaviors in Lebanon. 16 December 2020.
- Rangarajan J, Narasimhan U, Janakiraman A, et al. Parenting Styles of Parents Who Had Children With and Without High Risk at Birth: A Cross-sectional Comparative Study. 23 February 2020.
- Masamba H. Cultural Influences on Parenting Styles and Child Development. 2024.
