Authoritative Parenting Style: Characteristics, Impact, and Examples

It may be safe to say that most, if not all, parents want to raise confident, responsible, and well-adjusted children. These types of kids fare better in childhood and adolescence and often go on to become successful adults thanks to childrearing styles like authoritative parenting. But you may be wondering, “What is authoritative parenting? How can it help me and my child?” That’s exactly what we’ll be discussing so you can make your own decisions about how to best parent your child.

What is Authoritative Parenting?

Authoritative parenting is a parenting style in which parents are nurturing, supportive, and responsive while setting firm limits for their children without being overly strict [*]. It is one of the three parenting styles identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s.

This parenting style uses rules to influence behavior, often discussed with and explained to their children; these rules empower children to make the right choices.

Regarding discipline, authoritative parenting favors positive reinforcement and reasoning to guide children. Authoritative parents avoid punitive disciplinary measures, such as threats or traditional punishments.

Overall, authoritative parenting can be described as a nurturing and supportive style of childrearing that also uses firm rules or limits for the well-being of children.

Characteristics of Authoritative Parenting Style

Several qualities characterize the authoritative parenting style. It includes:

• Showing warmth to children
• Responding to children’s changing needs
• Setting appropriate limits for optimum control rather than controlling behavior
• Providing structure and clear guidance based on shared values
• Communicating regularly
• Being engaged in children’s interests and activities
• Providing support and coaching as children learn and develop as individuals, also called scaffolding
• Encouraging autonomy while being available if needed
• Affirming their children at present while setting standards for future behavior

The characteristics of this parenting style can be beneficial for many types of children, including the highly sensitive child.

Impact of Authoritative Parenting Style on Children

According to Baumrind, children of authoritative parents:

• Generally have happier dispositions
• Have good social skills
• Are able to control and regulate their emotions well
• Are confident about their abilities to learn new things

The authoritative style is generally regarded as the best approach to parenting. A study found that this parenting style is positively correlated with children’s academic and social-emotional readiness, including confidence, self-efficacy, and communication skills [*]. The benefits of authoritative parenting also show in adults; another study found that under this type of parenting, young adults take part in more proactive behaviors by improving their self-esteem and developing a growth mindset [*].

Much research has shown that children raised by authoritative parents are generally more capable, successful, and happy. One analysis suggested that authoritative parenting is associated with better life satisfaction, problem-solving abilities, creativity, self-esteem, and self-confidence [*].

Authoritative parents act like role models and act out behaviors they expect from their children. This allows children to internalize these behaviors and exhibit them as well. The consistent rules and discipline that authoritative parents implement make it so that children know what to expect. This can be especially helpful when parenting an anxious child.

Another one of the effects of authoritative parenting is that children learn emotional regulation. Authoritative parents tend to exercise good emotional understanding and control, encouraging their children to do the same and learn to understand others [*]. Other parenting styles may lead to outbursts, defiance, and other signs your child does not respect you, which can be difficult to correct.

Examples of Authoritative Parenting Style

Here are a few authoritative parenting examples to illustrate this style more clearly.

Food and Treats. When it comes to food, authoritative parents may expect everyone to follow some sort of structure during mealtimes. This may look like coming to the table together and eating the same food. However, authoritative parents also involve their children in choosing and making the meals, which provides a healthy sense of independence and boundaries. Authoritative parents will allow treats but will not let their children eat whatever they want at all times. These limitations allow kids to eat with enough variety and learn about new foods while meeting their nutritional needs and growth.

Screen Time. Authoritative parents do place limits on screen time, but the level will depend on the ages and individual situations of their children when doing so. They will likely discuss this with their children to establish a rule that works for everyone. Children who follow these guidelines are often rewarded for their good behavior, such as receiving more screen time.

Play Dates. Children raised by authoritative parents understand what needs to be done before going out to play with friends, whether it is homework or chores. They recognize and honor boundaries, and they follow their parents’ examples of how to be good hosts or guests.

Challenges in Implementing Authoritative Parenting

The authoritative parenting style is ideal for healthy outcomes, but it is not without its challenges.

This parenting style can be difficult to implement because it requires a balance of freedom and discipline. Parents may undergo lengthy periods of trial and error before they strike that balance and find the strategies that work best for them and their children.

Since authoritative parents do set rules and boundaries, it is also possible for children to perceive these as restrictive. It may feel as if their autonomy or sense of freedom is being hindered, especially compared to children raised in more permissive households. In such a situation, you may need guidance in the form of rules when parenting an angry child if your child challenges you too often.

Tips for Practicing Authoritative Parenting Style

You may be a parent, guardian, or caregiver looking to become a more authoritative parent. We have a few tips that may help you find the balance between discipline, independence, and emotional control when raising your child. Here’s how to be an authoritative parent:

Set rules

It is important to communicate the rules that you expect your children to follow. Talk to your child about these guidelines, boundaries, and expectations, and make sure they understand them.

Establish consequences

In order for rules to be effective, there should be consequences when they are violated or not met. Discuss these with your child as well, and make sure they know what is expected of them.

Be compassionate

While it is good to be firm, we must not forget to be compassionate toward our children. Practice being warm, empathetic, and supportive.

Focus on building a strong, supportive relationship

It can be easy to fall into the trap of wanting to control everything your child does. A better approach is to focus on building a strong and supportive relationship.

Encourage your child to be independent

Let your child discover the world on their own, including experiencing the natural consequences of their own actions. This will teach them independence.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some commonly asked questions about authoritative parenting.

What’s the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting?

Authoritative and authoritarian parenting are often confused with each other because they sound so similar. However, there are key differences.

Both parenting styles involve setting limits for children, but authoritative parents display more warmth, responsiveness, and support, while authoritarian parents tend to parent with an iron fist. The latter’s decisions are not up for discussion or debate. Authoritarian parents also tend to have unreasonable expectations for their children, while authoritative parents tend to be more reasonable.

Is authoritative parenting effective?

Research has pointed to the benefits and effectiveness of this parenting style, so the short answer is yes.

However, it is difficult to say for certain whether authoritative parenting is the most effective among the various parenting styles and their combinations. Remember that children will not always respond in the exact same way to boundaries, rules, and even parental support and nurturing.

Still, between the parenting styles, authoritative parenting has been backed up by many studies and continues to be the most popular approach.

Can I transition to an authoritative parenting style from a different approach?

Everyone can become a more authoritative parent. You can match authoritative parenting strategies like these to your child’s unique temperament to ensure you aren’t using a cookie-cutter approach. Here's how you can make the shift:

• Self-awareness. First, identify your current parenting style. Reflect on how you respond to your child's behavior and the level of control you exert.
• Start small. Don't try to change everything overnight. Pick one area to focus on, like communication. Create a safe space for your child to express themselves by actively listening.
• Set clear expectations. Define rules for your child's age and explain the reasoning behind them. This promotes understanding and cooperation.
• Offer choices and encourage problem-solving. Instead of dictating everything, give your child some control within boundaries. This builds confidence and teaches them to make responsible decisions.
• Consistency is key. Be consistent with your expectations and consequences. This creates a sense of security and predictability for your child.

The Bottom Line

The authoritative parenting style isn't a universal solution for everyone, but it's a great way to raise happy, well-rounded children. By creating a balance of warmth, guidance, and open communication, you can equip your child with the skills they need to thrive. Keep in mind that this is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the learning process, celebrate the wins, and enjoy the process of raising a confident and capable individual.

To support authoritative parenting by teaching emotional identification and regulation skills to your child, feel free to browse our collection of feelings worksheets.

References:

1. American Psychological Association. Parenting Styles. 2017.
2. Spivey A & Bodily J. Authoritative parenting style positively correlates with increased adherence to COVID-19 health and safety guidelines by college students. 7 March 2023.
3. Nie T, Yan Q, Chen Y. Authoritative Parenting Style and Proactive Behaviors: Evidence from China? 15 March 2022.
4. Kuppens S & Ceulemans E. Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept. 18 September 2018.
5. Șițoiu A & Pânișoară G. Emotional Regulation in Parental Optimism—The Influence of Parenting Style. 10 April 2022.