Authoritarian Parenting: Characteristics, Impact, and Examples

Parenting is not an easy task. Although there are self-help books and other resources to guide parents in caring for their child, there is no true one-size-fits-all approach. For this reason, there have emerged different parenting styles, one of which is called authoritarian parenting. In this article, you will learn about what this parenting approach is like and whether it is an effective strategy for child rearing.

What Is Authoritarian Parenting?

Diana Baumrind can be credited for pioneering the different parenting styles based on research: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative parenting. In her work, she described the authoritarian parenting style as high in demandingness and low in responsiveness [*]. What does this mean?

First, authoritarian parenting involves strict, often unrealistic expectations placed on the children. It is high in demandingness in that parents who follow this approach are often quite imposing in their beliefs on how their children should behave.
Second, authoritarian parents lack responsiveness, meaning that they often do not take their children’s needs, emotions, and input into consideration in their parenting approach. They are often seen as cold and critical, as well as harsh in the way they discipline their kids.

The authoritarian parenting style thus demonstrates strictness when enforcing rules in the household, thereby giving children little opportunity to make their own choices, think for themselves, and live in a supportive family environment overall.

What Are Characteristics of Authoritarian Parents?

Authoritarian parents can probably be best described as textbook disciplinarians who place emphasis on children meeting their expectations for what constitutes good behavior. When children fail to meet these expectations, that is where the harsh discipline comes in. The following are some characteristics of authoritarian parenting that can paint a better picture of how it looks like within the context of the family:

• Demanding. Authoritarian parents enforce many rules in the household. Thus, they can be perceived as overbearing and controlling. More often than not, they are unwilling to compromise with their children, inevitably overriding their kids’ wishes and feelings. Sometimes, parents with this type of parenting style may also establish rules and expectations that have not been clearly communicated. Despite these rules being left unspoken, authoritarian parents still expect their children to comply with those rules.
• Low in warmth. Because authoritarian parents stress the importance of being on your good behavior at all times, they often tend to forget that they need to approach their children with more love and care. Thus, they end up seeming cold, aloof, critical, and harsh. In their efforts to ensure that their children do not engage in undesirable behaviors, children may not find their family environment to be a safe space for open and direct communication of their feelings. Emphasis is heavily placed on discipline rather than childhood fun, and this kind of discipline leads to the authoritarian parent neglecting to offer encouragement or praise.
• Little rationale for discipline. It is often the case that authoritarian parents use corporal punishment, such as spanking, in disciplining their children when they misbehave. When they do, they typically fail to provide an explanation for why they are disciplining their child in that manner. The most that children will get from the authoritarian parent as an explanation would be, “Just because I said so.”
• Impatient. The authoritarian parenting style operates under the assumption that children should just know not to participate in undesirable behaviors and should instead follow the rules. For this reason, authoritarian parents often do not take the time or energy to explain why their kids should be on their best behavior and why the rules being enforced exist at all.
• Distrustful. Parents who fall in the authoritarian typology typically see children as incapable of making good choices. Thus, they end up micromanaging various domains of the child’s life, if not all. In effect, authoritarian parents show that they do not trust their children enough to give them the opportunity to make good decisions on their own.

What Are the Effects of Authoritarian Parenting on Children?

Research on authoritarian parenting has generally shown that this approach to child rearing produces negative developmental outcomes for the child overall. Children who have authoritarian parents become more prone to depression, stress, and anxiety [*]. Effects of authoritarian parenting could also include having a highly sensitive child. Although authoritarian parents are well-intentioned in wanting to keep their child safe, it is often the case that their rigid and strict parenting style does more harm than good in that the child’s self-esteem and problem-solving abilities become poorly developed.

Furthermore, because of the harsh parental discipline, children who are raised by authoritarian parents are at risk of developing conduct disorder [*]. In other words, they may become hostile and aggressive and may engage in delinquent behaviors. If you follow an authoritarian parenting style, this could be evidenced in the household when they show signs that they do not respect you. Finally, they may also suffer from social difficulties, tending to be unpopular and unhelpful toward their peers [*].

Tips to Avoid Being an Authoritarian Parent

How can you avoid being an authoritarian parent like Penny’s mom Prudy? Although veering away from the authoritarian parenting style may not happen overnight, it can be done through the following ways.

Listen to your children

What does it mean to listen to your children? Listening does not necessarily mean that you should agree or condone all of your child’s behaviors. Rather, it entails accepting that your kid may have a different perspective on their lives or their decisions that warrant understanding from your end. Thus, to be able to listen, you should acknowledge, understand, and validate your child’s emotions, thoughts, and experiences.

Set clear and realistic expectations and rules

It is difficult for children to follow household rules if they are not attainable. Thus, to avoid being an authoritarian parent, you will need to ensure that the expectations you set can be achieved by someone of their age. In addition, there should be a reason for each expectation and rule. If your children understand why such rules are being enforced, it will be easier to abide by them.

Seek help from external sources

You can also ask for help and seek support from other people. If you have fellow parents in your social circle, you can maybe observe their parenting styles and see whether they are effective in terms of caring for their children. Another option is to take some parenting classes. Finally, it would also be helpful to talk to a family therapist.

Learn about authoritative parenting.

Last but not least, you can learn how to be a more effective parent by reading about how to be an authoritative parent. The authoritative parenting style has been deemed the most helpful approach to child rearing. Parents who follow this parenting style are high in responsiveness to their children’s needs; however, they still have reasonable expectations for children to behave in a mature and acceptable way [*].

How can you begin to learn about authoritative parenting, though? Feel free to read up on parenting an angry child and our tips on parenting an anxious child, for starters. These articles outline just some of the ways to care for hostile or distressed children, instead of disciplining them in an authoritarian manner.

Frequently Asked Questions

You still may be left with several questions after reading about authoritarian parenting. Perhaps you are curious about what authoritative parenting is all about. You may also be wondering whether authoritarian parenting can still be effective in some way. These questions will be addressed in the next sections.

What’s the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting?

Whereas authoritarian parents rule the household without considering children’s feelings or input over their own lives, authoritative parents are more compassionate and forgiving toward their children, even when they make mistakes. However, this does not mean that they do not enforce rules. The authoritative parenting style is characterized by high demandingness and high responsiveness. The difference thus lies in how their demandingness is communicated.

For instance, if a child fails to get a good grade on their exam, the authoritative parent may still dole out punishment. However, it is usually not corporal punishment. The authoritative parent is likely to listen to their child about what led to the low grade, with empathic understanding and a willingness to compromise on the child’s punishment. Based on this example, you can see that authoritative parents are warmer and more nurturing to their children than are authoritarian parents.

Is authoritarian parenting effective or harmful?

Although the authoritarian parenting style may seem effective, it is only at first. This parenting approach is, in fact, not effective in the long run. For instance, children raised with his kind of parenting style often struggle in their school performance because of their parents’ high expectations and demands. They also typically continue to have emotional problems as they grow older.

What about authoritative parenting? How effective is it? One study indicates that the benefits of authoritative parenting include psychological maturity, competence, self-esteem, and self-reliance, as well as academic achievement, in the child [*]. Thus, it is safe to say that the authoritative parenting style is highly effective.

Can I transition to an authoritative parenting style from a different approach?

Transitioning to an authoritative parenting style may be difficult to do initially because it demands patience, understanding, and a knack for being warm and nurturing on the part of the parent. However, it is possible for you to lean toward this style over time, especially if you practice self-awareness with your parental behaviors and tendencies and proactively take steps to be a more authoritative parent.

The Bottom Line

Authoritarian parents can be harsh, cold, punitive, and exacting on their children. If you find yourself realizing that you may be using the authoritarian parenting style, though, then learning how to be an authoritative parent will help you become a more effective parent and form a better relationship with your child. To assist you in your journey toward a more useful parenting style, you can also use these character education posters to help facilitate better behavior in your child. Finally, seeking help from others, such as an individual or family therapist, can hasten your transition to the authoritative parenting style as well.

References:

1. Jadon PS and Tripathi S. Effects of authoritarian parenting style on self-esteem of the child: A systematic review. 2017.
2. Kuppens S and Ceulemans E. Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept. 2019.
3. Thompson A, Hollis C, and Richards D. Authoritarian parenting attitudes as a risk for conduct problems. 2003.
4. Smetana JG. Current research on parenting styles, dimensions, and beliefs. 2017.