Kids returning to school may feel excited and uncertain, which is a normal response. However, it’s different for children who have social anxiety.
Things like adjusting to new social groups and classroom activities can lead these kids to distance themselves physically, avoid eye contact, or claim to be feeling ill to stay away from activities that involve interactions.
Low Self-Esteem as One of the Core Psychological Characteristics of Social Anxiety
For us to effectively support our children as they transition back to school (whether in the same school or a new school), it’s important to understand their fear of being judged or criticized by their peers. Research points to self-esteem as being one of the characteristics of social anxiety.
You might hear your child say:
- "I'm scared everyone will laugh at me."
- “What if I say something stupid?”
- “I feel sick. Can I stay home?”
- “I don’t fit in with anyone.”
- “Can I sit in the back of the class?”
Ways to Deal with Back-To-School Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can indeed be managed, especially during the potentially stressful transition of starting a new school year.
If you are a parent…
- Encourage your child to share their thoughts by asking open-ended questions. You can ask, “How are you feeling about starting school?” or “What are some things that worry you about school? These questions give them a chance to articulate their feelings.
- Practice social skills together, such as smiling and making eye contact, and doing small acts of kindness.
- Show them relaxation techniques to calm themselves down whenever they feel stressed. Deep breathing, mindfulness, or visualization are all beneficial. What matters is that they take small steps that will help increase their confidence and self-esteem!
If you are a teacher…
- Make the classroom environment welcoming. This includes giving them a sense of predictability by letting them know in advance your expectations.
- Rather than forcing them to participate, allow them to start with smaller, less intimidating tasks or activities and gradually increase their participation as they feel more comfortable. For example, they could contribute to class discussions in a small group before speaking in front of the whole class.
- Designate a quiet corner in the classroom where they can go to de-stress if they feel overwhelmed. I’d like to pass along an encouraging quote from one of my favorite classics that you can share with a socially anxious child: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!”
*This article was originally published in our email newsletter on August 18, 2024.
