Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: What’s the Difference?

Have you ever felt confident one moment but unsure the next? Maybe you felt great after a compliment but started doubting yourself when you made a mistake. This is where self-worth vs. self-esteem comes in.

People often think they’re the same, but they’re actually different. In this article, we’ll discuss each, how they influence the way you see yourself, and ways to strengthen both.

When you understand these ideas, you can build a lasting confidence that isn’t just based on success or what others think.

What is Self-Worth?

Self-worth is how much you believe you are valuable and important, no matter what happens in your life. It comes from deep inside you and stays the same over time. It is based on the core beliefs you have about yourself and does not easily change because of your thoughts, feelings, or experiences [*].

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how a person feels about themselves and their abilities. Research shows that during the teenage years, self-esteem can change a lot. This is because teenagers go through many life changes, such as taking on new responsibilities, making new friends, and figuring out who they are. However, it tends to improve in the middle and later teenage years [*].

What’s the Difference Between Self-Worth and Self-Esteem?

Many people confuse self-worth and self-esteem because both involve how we see and feel about ourselves. Self-esteem is influenced by achievements, feedback from others, and personal experiences, while self-worth is a deep, unchanging belief that you are valuable no matter what. In other words, self-esteem changes frequently, but self-worth remains stable.

Consider this example: Imagine two students receiving a low grade on a test. 

One student’s self-esteem drops. They start doubting their intelligence, feel embarrassed, and worry about what others think. They believe their grade defines them. The other student has strong self-worth. Even though they are disappointed with their grade, they still believe they are capable and valuable. They see the bad grade as a challenge to improve rather than a reflection of their worth.

Where Do Feelings of Self-Worth and Self-Esteem Come From?

Feelings of self-esteem come from our experiences, achievements, and how others treat us. It develops over time, starting in childhood and continuing throughout life.

This means that people who have high self-esteem were likely supported, encouraged, and treated with kindness as children. On the other hand, those with low self-esteem may have faced criticism, neglect, or mistreatment [*].

Feelings of self-worth come from within. Unlike self-esteem, which depends on achievements and how others treat us, self-worth is a deep belief that you are valuable simply because you exist.

What Comes First, Self-Esteem or Self-Worth?

Self-worth comes first. It is the foundation of how we see ourselves. It exists even before we accomplish anything or receive feedback from others. Self-esteem, on the other hand, develops over time and can rise and fall depending on our circumstances.

When we have strong self-worth, our self-esteem tends to be more stable because we don’t rely on external validation to feel good about ourselves.

It’s important to keep in mind that even people with a solid sense of self-worth may still feel discouraged after a failure or criticism. However, they are more likely to recover quickly because their worth isn’t tied to external factors.

What Defines Self-Worth? What are Examples of Self-Worth?

Self-worth is defined by the deep, unshakable belief that you are valuable, regardless of successes, failures, or outside opinions. Examples of self-worth in daily life include:

• Pursuing your goals without fear of failure because you know that mistakes don’t define you.
• Treating yourself with kindness, even when you fall short of expectations.
• Walking away from unhealthy friendships instead of staying just to fit in.
• Celebrating your efforts rather than only your achievements.
• Believing you deserve kindness and respect no matter your grades, skills, or popularity.
• Accepting yourself just as you are instead of comparing yourself to others.

What Defines Self-Esteem? What are Examples of Self-Esteem?

Unlike self-worth, which is constant, self-esteem can rise and fall depending on your experiences, achievements, and how others treat you. Examples of self-esteem in daily life include:

• Feeling proud after doing well on a test or completing a difficult task.
• Doubting yourself after making a mistake but regaining confidence after encouragement.
• Enjoying compliments and positive feedback from others.
• Being nervous about meeting new people but feeling good when welcomed by others.
• Practicing a skill to get better and feeling a boost in confidence with progress.
• Feeling proud when a teacher, coach, or mentor acknowledges your hard work.
• Volunteering or helping others and feeling a sense of pride in making a difference.

How Does Self-Esteem Impact Self-Worth, and Vice Versa?

Although self-worth and self-esteem are not the same, they influence each other. When you have strong self-worth, your self-esteem is more stable because you don’t rely on success or approval to feel valuable.

On the other hand, if you base your worth only on achievements or what others think, your self-esteem can easily rise and fall.

For example, a teenager with strong self-worth knows they deserve respect, even if a friend stops talking to them. Their self-esteem might drop for a moment, but they don’t question their value.

However, if their self-worth is based on being liked, losing a friend could make them feel unworthy and lower their self-esteem drastically.

Can You Have High Self-Worth But Low Self-Esteem, and Vice Versa?

You can have strong self-worth while struggling with low self-esteem, and the reverse is also true. It’s possible to have one without fully developing the other.

Someone with high self-worth but low self-esteem believes they are valuable as a person, but they may struggle with confidence in specific areas. For example, they might know they deserve love and respect, yet feel insecure about their public speaking skills.

On the other hand, a person with low self-worth but high self-esteem may feel confident in their abilities and accomplishments, but deep down, they don’t truly believe they are valuable. For instance, a student might take pride in getting good grades and feel competent in academics, but if they fail a test, they may feel like they are not good enough as a person.

Tips to Improve Self-Worth and Self-Esteem

Strengthening self-worth and self-esteem takes time, but simple, intentional actions can help. Below are some ways to strengthen both:

• Practice self-care: Meeting your physical and emotional needs sends the message that you deserve kindness and respect. Prioritize rest, eat nourishing foods, move your body, and engage in activities that bring you joy.
• Use positive self-talk: The way you talk to yourself matters. Replace self-criticism with encouraging words. Some helpful affirmations for self-esteem are “I can treat myself with compassion” and “I don’t compare myself to anyone else.”
• Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, ask yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Negative thoughts often stem from cognitive distortions — these are patterns of thinking that are inaccurate.
• Seek positive friendships: Surround yourself with friends who make you feel happy and confident. Being around kind and supportive people helps you feel good about yourself.
• Establish healthy boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain you and yes to things that align with your values. Respecting your own boundaries shows that you value yourself.
• Engage in activities that make you feel accomplished: Doing things you enjoy and excel at can boost your self-esteem — whether it’s a hobby, volunteering, or learning something new. 

Sometimes, low self-worth or self-esteem comes from past experiences or beliefs you’ve held for a long time. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you work through these feelings, so you can see yourself in a more positive way.

The Bottom Line 

Self-worth and self-esteem help us feel good about ourselves and believe in our own value.

Remember, our worth isn’t based on our achievements or what others think. We can build confidence by treating ourselves with kindness, surrounding ourselves with supportive people, and taking care of ourselves.

If you want to help your child or teen build self-worth or self-esteem, our Self-Esteem Worksheets can make a difference! Check them out and support your child in developing a strong, healthy sense of self.

References:

1. Self-worth. (n.d.). UNCW. https://uncw.edu/seahawk-life/health-wellness/counseling/self-help-resources/self-worth
2. Zhao, Y., Zheng, Z., Pan, C., & Zhou, L. (2021). Self-Esteem and Academic Engagement Among Adolescents: A Moderated Mediation Model. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 690828. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.690828
3. Downey, C., & Crummy, A. (2022). The impact of childhood trauma on children's wellbeing and adult behavior. European Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 6(1), 100237. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejtd.2021.100237