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Key Takeaways:
- Millions of children in the US will experience the loss of a parent or sibling by the age of 18, and this highlights the widespread impact of grief on young lives.
- According to a national poll, the majority of bereaved children find family, friends, and shared activities to be crucial in processing grief and finding healing.
- Engaging in activities to help kids with grief, along with family and friends' support, can provide comfort and aid children in processing their emotions in a healthy manner.
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Helping children cope with loss can be challenging, but engaging in meaningful grief activities for kids can provide comfort and healing.
According to data by the National Alliance For Children’s Grief, approximately 6 million children in the United States are expected to lose a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18 [*].
A national poll of over 500 bereaved children and teenagers revealed that 55% found spending time with family to be the most helpful after the death of a family member. Moreover, 59% found spending time with friends to be beneficial [*].
In addition to that, 49% find listening to music helpful, 46% prefer staying busy, 42% attend grief groups, and 41% talk to others who have had similar experiences.
These activities offer a way for children to express their emotions and remember their loved ones in a supportive environment.
Grief Activities for Kids During Denial Stage
Children in the denial stage may refuse to believe that the loss has occurred. Activities should gently introduce them to the loss without overwhelming them.
Memory Box Creation
In the denial stage, children may have difficulty accepting the loss, so creating a memory box offers a gentle way to confront it.
Have the child create a memory box where they can place photos, small belongings, or letters that remind them of their loved one. This allows them to tangibly honor the person, and make the loss feel more real without overwhelming them emotionally.
Storytelling and Drawing
Children in denial may resist talking directly about the death of their loved one, but storytelling and drawing offer a creative outlet to express their emotions indirectly.
Encourage children to write or draw stories about their loved one. This activity helps them express their thoughts in a creative and non-direct way, and gives them space to process the loss while still feeling a connection.
Plant a Memory Garden
Planting a flower or tree serves as a symbolic activity for children in denial. The act of nurturing the plant introduces them to the idea of growth and change, which can help ease them into the concept of moving forward.
Choose a special spot and let the child pick a meaningful plant or flower that reminds them of their loved one. Help them plant and care for it, and add personal touches like decorations or a small plaque to make it a peaceful place for reflection and remembrance.
Grief Activities for Kids During Anger Stage
Children may feel frustration or anger during this stage. Activities should provide a healthy outlet for these intense emotions.
Physical Exercise
Engaging in activities like running, biking, or playing sports helps children release pent-up energy and frustration, and provide a healthy outlet for their anger.
Encourage children to participate in a sport they enjoy or set aside time for family walks or bike rides. Incorporating fun games or challenges can make the experience more enjoyable and help them feel more engaged.
Anger Jar
Children can write down their angry thoughts or feelings on slips of paper and place them in a jar. This physical act of storing their anger helps them acknowledge their feelings and create a sense of control.
Provide colorful paper and decorative markers to make the slips visually appealing. Encourage the child to decorate the jar as a personal project, and regularly revisit the jar together to discuss the feelings they've expressed and how they’ve processed them.
Related Worksheet: Worry Jar
Breathing Exercises
Teaching children simple breathing techniques can help them manage intense emotions, and provide them with tools to calm down when feelings of anger arise.
Introduce techniques like the "4-7-8" method, where they inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. Practice together in a calm setting, remind them to use these techniques whenever they feel overwhelmed, and make it a regular part of their routine.
Grief Activities for Kids During Bargain Stage
In this stage, children might try to regain a sense of control. Activities should help them express their thoughts and feelings about "what if" scenarios.
Make a Promise Jar
Creating a promise jar allows children to express their hopes and commitments regarding their loved one. Help the child create a promise jar where they can write down promises or hopes for the future related to their loved one.
They can revisit the jar regularly to reflect on their promises, and this can provide a sense of continuity and hope.
Talk About Regrets
Open conversations about regrets give children a safe space to express their feelings and explore the “what ifs” surrounding their loss. Talk about regrets or things they wish they could change. This allows them to voice their feelings without fear.
Create a safe environment for discussion, and emphasize that it’s okay to have these feelings. Listening without judgment can help them feel validated and supported.
Create a "What Would They Say?" Game
Play a game where the child imagines what their loved one would say in different situations or dilemmas they face. This can be particularly comforting during the bargaining stage, as it allows kids to explore their feelings and dilemmas through the lens of their loved one’s wisdom.
Encourage them to think about the advice or support their loved one would offer, and help them feel a continued connection and guidance from the person they've lost.
Grief Activities for Kids During Depression Stage
Children may feel deep sadness or isolation after a loss. Activities should provide comfort and help them feel supported during this stage of grief.
Comfort Item Creation
Creating a comfort item allows children to channel their emotions into a tangible object that provides solace. Encourage children to create or decorate a comfort item, such as a blanket, stuffed animal, or pillow.
Provide materials like fabric, markers, or other craft supplies. This item can serve as a source of comfort during tough times, and gives the child something tangible to hold onto when they feel sad.
Gratitude Journaling
Gratitude journaling encourages children to reflect on positive aspects of their lives, and help counterbalance feelings of sadness and despair. Encourage children to keep a gratitude journal, and write down things they appreciate or moments that brought them joy, no matter how small.
Set a routine where they write in their journal daily or weekly. Help shift their focus from sadness to gratitude, and encourage a more positive mindset.
Related Worksheet: Self-Esteem Journal
Support Group Participation
Participating in a grief support group connects children with peers who share similar experiences, and this can help normalize their feelings and reduce isolation.
Research local or online support groups that cater to children and emphasize the importance of sharing experiences. Connecting with others can help them feel less sad and alone.
Grief Activities for Kids During Acceptance Stage
Once children begin to accept the loss, activities can focus on remembering their loved one and building new routines.
Engage in a Service Project
Organizing a service project or volunteering for a cause that reflects the values or passions of the person who died can be a meaningful way for children to process their grief. This activity allows children to take tangible action that honors their loved one's memory while contributing positively to the community.
For example, if the loved one was passionate about animals, the child could volunteer at a local animal shelter or organize a fundraising event for animal welfare.
Celebrate Their Loved One’s Birthday or Special Days
Celebrating the birthday or other significant anniversaries of the deceased can create an opportunity for children to honor their loved one in a joyful way. Planning activities that the loved one enjoyed—such as cooking their favorite meal, sharing stories, or engaging in a cherished hobby—can help keep their memory alive.
Gathering with family and friends to share memories can also create a supportive environment for expressing feelings and reflecting on the positive impact the loved one had on their lives.
Write a Letter to Their Future Self
Invite the child to write a letter to their future self, and reflect on their grief journey and the lessons learned. This activity allows children to reflect on their emotions, hopes, and dreams.
Encourage the child to be honest and open in their letter, and address their feelings about the loss, their current state of mind, and the dreams they have for the future.
The Bottom Line
Many children experience the profound pain of losing a loved one, and this can be a challenging emotional journey. Try these activities to help kids with grief; combined with support from family and friends, they can offer comfort and assist children in processing their emotions in a healthy manner.
In addition to these activities, grief books for children and grief worksheets can also offer valuable tools for understanding their emotions. With the right support, children can find ways to honor their loved ones while healing and moving forward.
Sources:
- NACG. (2023, April 18). Data & Statistics - NACG. NACG - NACG. https://nacg.org/data-statistics/
- Wheeler, J., & Wheeler, J. (2022, June 23). National Poll of Bereaved Children & Teenagers - NACG. NACG - NACG. https://nacg.org/national-poll-of-bereaved-children-teenagers/
