The Six Stages of Grief – From Denial to Finding Meaning After Loss

I’ve sat beside many young clients and their families as they encounter one of life’s hardest experiences: grief. Grief is the response we have to losing someone or something deeply important to us. The 6 stages of grief give us a way to understand the range of emotions that can surface during this difficult time.

One of the first things I share with families is that grief looks different for everyone. There’s no single “right” way to grieve — how we process and cope are influenced by our personalities, our relationships, and our past experiences.

This article will walk through each stage to provide insight and support for those who are coping with grief.

The Six Stages of Grief

Grief doesn’t happen all at once — instead, it can bring different emotions at different times. Learning the six stages of grief can help us recognize these feelings and know they are part of a natural process [*]. Let’s look at each stage:

Stage 1: Denial

When someone is in denial, they might feel like the loss isn’t real or refuse to believe it happened. A child might say, “They’ll come back soon,” or act as if nothing has changed. This stage is the mind’s way of protecting itself from being overwhelmed by pain all at once.

Denial can also show up as confusion or difficulty making decisions, because the mind is still processing the reality of what has occurred. It’s possible for someone to replay events or conversations in their minds, to search for signs that things are still “normal.”

It’s helpful to remember that denial gives us time to slowly adjust to a new reality. It’s okay if this stage lasts longer for some people — it’s just the brain’s way of coping.

Stage 2: Anger

Anger can show up as frustration, irritability, or even blaming others for the loss. A person might feel angry at themselves, those around them, or even at the person who has passed. This emotion serves as a natural outlet to express deep pain that feels overwhelming to hold inside.

Research shows that anger isn’t something to be suppressed or avoided — instead, it can be channeled into positive and constructive ways that support healing [*].

When anger comes up, it can help to find safe ways to express it, like drawing, talking with someone you trust, or moving the body through exercise.

Stage 3: Bargaining

During bargaining, someone may find themselves caught up in “what if” or “if only” thoughts, as they hope they could somehow reverse the loss or strike a deal to change the outcome.

For example, a teen might wonder if things would have been different if they had been there to say goodbye.

Whether you’re experiencing bargaining yourself or supporting someone who is, remember it’s a natural way to try making sense of the loss. You can give reassurance, and simply listening will help ease those overwhelming “what if” thoughts.

Stage 4: Depression

Depression is the stage when the reality of the loss fully sets in, and the emotional weight becomes more prominent. It’s common to feel deep sadness, emptiness, numbness, or a loss of motivation. The grieving person might also believe that no one else can relate to their pain.

In some cases, grief-related depression may develop into prolonged grief disorder — a condition where intense grief symptoms persist far longer than expected and may interfere with a person’s daily functioning [*].

While the depression stage can feel endless, it’s important to allow yourself the time and space to fully experience it.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Acceptance is the stage where you begin to come to terms with the reality of your loss. It doesn’t mean you’re suddenly “okay” with what happened. Rather, it’s about acknowledging that the loss is part of your life story, and then you look for ways to live with it.

This stage can look different for kids and teens than it does for an adult because their understanding of loss and their coping skills are still developing. For example, the child may start going back to school regularly and showing interest in their hobbies again.

They might feel sad, happy, or even laugh when recalling memories. This shows they can hold multiple emotions at once.

Stage 6: Finding Meaning

The final stage of grief isn’t about forgetting or replacing the person or thing lost — it’s about discovering ways to integrate the loss into your life.

People may find meaning in different ways. They may honor memories of the person they lost, help others, or even use their experience to grow personally. It’s important to remember that finding meaning does not erase pain. Rather, it can provide a sense of purpose.

Why Grief Isn’t Linear

Each person’s grief journey is unique, and there is no “correct” timeline. Looping back and forth between stages is normal. For instance, a child might initially accept that a grandparent has passed, but become angry or sad again when seeing the grandparent’s favorite chair.

There’s no right or wrong way to experience grief, and healing doesn’t follow a set schedule. The important part is allowing yourself or your child to feel each emotion as it comes. Know that this entire process is part of adapting to life after loss.

The Bottom Line

Grief can make some days feel heavy and others lighter. Moving through different emotions involved in each stage — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and finding meaning — is a natural process.

Over time, the intensity of the pain may lessen, so that people can carry on with life while honoring the memory of their loved one.

If you’re a parent, caregiver, or professional supporting children and teens, consider our grief worksheets and recommended grief books for kids. These resources provide helpful information to process their emotions and develop healthy coping skills.

References:

1. Tyrrell P, Harberger S, Schoo C, et al. Kubler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief. [Updated 2023 Feb 26]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885/
2. Harvard Health. (2024, January 16). The nature of anger. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-nature-of-anger
3. Prolonged grief disorder. (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/prolonged-grief-disorder