Physical Bullying Among Kids

As a parent, the fear of your child being physically bullied is both devastating and all too real. Whether through hitting, pushing, or destroying your child’s favorite things, physical bullying can have lasting effects on your child’s health and psyche.

Recognizing the signs of physical bullying is the first step in rebuilding and protecting your child’s confidence. Learn how physical bullying can impact your child and what you can do to keep them safe.

What is Physical Bullying?

Physical bullying involves physical pushing, punching, shoving, kicking, or the threat of physical assault. It also includes damage to a person’s personal property.

Physical bullying aims to enforce a power imbalance by making the victim feel helpless and submissive. It’s persistent, habitual, and involves repeated acts of aggression to harm others.

Compared to girls, who often bully others through social exclusion, boys are more likely to engage in physical bullying [*]. Physical bullying is commonly observed in schools, especially during recess hours or when teachers aren’t present.

Related: Verbal Bullying in Kids

What Counts as Physical Bullying?

Because physical bullying involves using physical force and aggression to harm others, it can often result in injuries, whether temporary or permanent. What counts as physical bullying is any action that causes distress or harm to the victim.

Beyond hitting, shoving, tripping, or kicking, physical bullying also includes restraining someone, locking them in a room, forcing them to do things against their will, or throwing objects.

Why Do Kids Engage in Physical Bullying?

There are many reasons a child might bully others. They might do so for power and control because they feel helpless in their home environment and seek validation through aggression. A child with one or two aggressive parents may mimic the behavior and project it onto others.

Some children bully because they want to fit in with peers. They might also fear being bullied themselves and join in to avoid becoming a target.

In rarer cases, children might become bullies because they enjoy inflicting pain and fear on others, which can be a sign of deeper psychological issues requiring professional intervention. They may not experience empathy nor recognize the pain they’re causing.

Children may feel confident to continue if bullying is ignored or unpunished.

What are Some Examples of Physical Bullying?

Physical bullying can occur in the following ways:

• Directly: punching, hitting, pushing, biting, choking, slapping, and restraining someone
• Indirectly: stealing someone’s belongings, locking someone in a room, throwing things, forcing someone to perform an unwanted action, pulling hair or clothes
• In a group: gang attacks, group beatings, blocking someone’s path, moving someone out of the way

How Can I Tell If My Child is Being Physically Bullied?

Not every child will demonstrate warning signs of being bullied, especially when they feel too humiliated or ashamed to share their experiences with a trusted adult. Your child may not want you to worry and try to hide any signs that they’ve been bullied, so it’s essential to be observant.

Here are some signs your child might be the victim of bullying:

• Unexplained injuries: Sudden unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns, complaining of frequent headaches and stomachaches, returning home with broken/damaged personal belongings.
• Changes in behavior and mood: Extreme moodiness and irritability, low self-esteem, anger outbursts, or feelings of worthlessness.
• Changes in social life: Withdrawal from friends and social situations or a reluctance to discuss relationships with peers.
• Poor academic performance: Wanting to stay home from school, unwillingness to participate in class or group activities, or a significant decrease in academic performance [*].

Bullying can have long-term consequences for a child, so immediate intervention can make a significant difference. If you suspect your child is the victim of physical bullying, don’t wait—intervene as soon as you can.

How Does Physical Bullying Impact a Child?

The most immediate consequence of physical bullying is injuries. You might notice bruises, scrapes, or even broken bones on your child from repeated attacks. They might develop chronic pain, sleep problems, or changes in eating habits.

Kids who experience physical bullying are also at a higher risk of becoming anxious or depressed [*]. They might feel sad or lonely, especially if peers ostracize them. Bullying can make a child feel helpless and unworthy, and they may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) [*].

Without intervention, bullying can have long-term effects that last well into a child’s adult years. They might develop trust issues and struggle to build or maintain friendships.

What Can Parents and Teachers Do About Physical Bullying? 

Parents and teachers play a key role in preventing bullying, as they can directly prevent your child from being bullied. They can physically protect the child being bullied and encourage the bully to seek professional help.

Here’s how parents and teachers can collaborate to create a safer and more supportive environment for preventing physical bullying.

Be a safe space

Remember, children may be averse to sharing their experiences because they are embarrassed or humiliated. Thus, making yourself available for conversation and reassuring them that they are safe can go a long way.

When they confide in you, praise them for being brave enough to share their experiences and remind them they aren’t alone. As they become more comfortable sharing this information with you, they may regain confidence and desire to defend themselves. 

Set positive expectations for behavior

Most physical bullying occurs at school, so setting positive expectations for classroom behavior can create a safer learning environment. Teachers should explicitly remind students what behaviors are unacceptable and what the consequences are for ignoring these rules.

Teachers should encourage parents and guardians to be informed and involved in these policies. For example, teachers might host anti-bullying seminars with parents and guardians present or involve them in anti-bullying committees. They can also provide resources on bullying, such as handouts, websites, and videos. 

Intervene immediately

If you notice instances of bullying, intervene immediately. Waiting can put the student in a more dangerous position. Some students may see asking for help as “tattling,” so you should stay observant in the classroom. Pay close attention to interactions in the playground, lunch, and hallways.

If a teacher observes bullying under any circumstances, they must note and report the incident for the appropriate school administrators to investigate. Avoid joint counseling sessions with the bully and victim, as it can be intimidating for the child being bullied.

If you are the child’s parent, consider seeking professional help from a child therapist, especially if your child’s experience interferes with their daily activities.

Teach children how to ask for help

While it may seem simple and intuitive, asking for help isn’t always as easy as you think. Helping kids deal with bullies means teaching them how to report it—encourage them to speak with their teacher, a teacher’s assistant, or a guidance counselor.

You can also provide your child’s school administrators with multiple emergency contacts—your spouse, another family member, your child’s doctor, or another trusted adult.

Rebuild confidence

Bullying can significantly impact your child’s self-confidence. They may become fearful and doubt their ability to protect themselves. Help them rebuild their confidence by encouraging them to spend time with friends who are a good influence. Suggest participation in community clubs and sports or consider volunteering.

Use books about bullying to give your child perspective and make them feel less alone. Through reading, they can learn practical tips and feel more emotionally secure.

Teach them to use this confidence to manage their anger when confronted by a bully. It can be tempting to respond by bullying back, but reinforce how walking away is the safer option.

Frequently Asked Questions

At what age does physical bullying usually start?

Physical bullying can start as early as preschool years, with bullying behaviors becoming more intense during middle school [*]. During preschool years, when children are still developing social skills, bullying might look like biting, hair pulling, or destroying toys.

Is physical bullying more common in boys or girls?

Boys are often more involved in direct, physical bullying than girls [*]. However, girls are more likely to experience cyberbullying on social media and similar platforms.

The Bottom Line

Physical bullying is distressing for both parents and children, but recognizing the signs early and providing emotional support can keep them safe and grounded. Keeping open communication with your child’s school administration and practicing standing up to bullies can help your child heal and regain a sense of security.

Being bullied can take a significant hit to your child’s self-esteem. Motivate them to stay brave and assertive by integrating our self-esteem worksheets.

Sources:

1. “How parents, teachers, and kids can take action to prevent bullying.” American Psychological Association, 2025.
2. Wolpert S. “Victims of bullying suffer academically as well, UCLA psychologists report.” UCLA, 2010.
3. Rivara F, Menestrel SL, on C, et al. “Consequences of Bullying Behavior.” National Academies Press, 2016.
4. Idsoe T, Vaillancourt T, Dyregrov A, Hagen KA, Ogden T, Nærde A. “Bullying Victimization and Trauma.” Frontiers in Psychiatry, 2021.
5. Christos Douvlos. “Bullying in preschool children.” Psychological Thought, 2019.
6. Wang J, Iannotti RJ, Nansel TR. “School Bullying Among Adolescents in the United States: Physical, Verbal, Relational, and Cyber.” Journal of Adolescent Health, 2009.