Urge Surfing: Benefits, How to Urge Surf, and Limitations

Getting urges to do things that aren’t ideal is a normal occurrence for most people. Often, these urges can be strong and lead to an inevitable cycle of having a craving, fighting it, giving in, and then feeling guilty. While cravings are a natural part of life, that doesn’t mean you have to constantly battle them. There are ways to manage your cravings in a healthier way, which is where urge surfing comes in. This method has grown in popularity recently, and here we’ll discuss its benefits, how to do it, and some limitations.

Understanding Urges

Before we jump straight into how to urge surf, we must first understand what urges actually are.

Urges are strong desires or impulses to do something in response to distress and a way to gain immediate gratification [*]. They are usually associated with substance abuse recovery, eating disorders, and other compulsive behaviors. But everyone experiences urges to some extent when they want pleasure from certain behaviors. For instance, many people feel the urge to eat a sweet treat and feel happiness from doing so.

Urges develop when an individual has been conditioned to expect relief or pleasure from a certain behavior. For example, someone addicted to certain substances will continue to expect the same sensation and feeling as their first time taking or using it.

Urges can be strong enough that they turn into physical and emotional manifestations, such as feeling restless, having headaches, or being irritable.

What is Urge Surfing?

Urge surfing is a technique based on mindfulness that was developed in the 1980s by addictions specialist Dr. Alan Marlatt. This technique encourages people to wait out their unhealthy urges and, instead, mindfully observe them. Urge surfing was initially developed for people in addiction recovery, but it has since then expanded into use for other issues like eating disorders, mood disorders, and other compulsive behaviors [*].

Dr. Marsha Linehan, the founder of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), also implemented urge surfing in her theory of emotions. DBT therapists typically use urge surfing with clients who struggle with distress tolerance and emotion regulation.

Related Handout: DBT Urge Surfing Technique Handout

The Importance of Urge Surfing in Managing Urges

The urge surfing technique is important in helping you manage your urges. Not doing so may lead to undesirable behaviors and outcomes.

With urges, the more you ruminate on them, the more likely they are to grow. And whatever thoughts and behaviors you repeat will get stronger, while the things you do not do will get weaker. If you practice urge surfing, then your ability to manage the urge will increase and improve.

This can help you feel more in control and allow you to act in a more deliberate manner.

Benefits of Urge Surfing

There are several benefits of urge surfing that you can enjoy, especially if you struggle with impulse control. Here are some of the standout benefits of urge surfing:

Reduces impulsivity and reactivity

Urge surfing tackles urges at their root by reducing impulsivity and reactivity. Instead of immediately acting on a craving or urge, urge surfing allows you to observe it objectively. This mindful detachment weakens the urge's hold over you, preventing you from being swept away in a wave of impulsive behavior.

By acknowledging the urge without judgment, you gain the space to choose a more considered response, fostering a sense of control and reducing the likelihood of acting on autopilot. This newfound ability to pause and respond thoughtfully can be transformative in various aspects of life.

Increases mindfulness and self-awareness

Urge surfing is a way toward mindfulness and self-awareness. By turning your attention inward and observing the urge without judgment, you become more attuned to the subtle shifts in your body and mind. You begin recognizing the physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions that precede an urge. This heightened awareness empowers you to identify your triggers and understand the underlying reasons behind your cravings or impulses.

With this newfound self-knowledge, you can anticipate urges before they escalate, allowing you to make informed choices that align with your long-term well-being.

Improves emotional regulation and resilience

Urge surfing encourages emotional regulation and resilience by teaching you to navigate difficult emotions without getting swept away by them. When an urge arises, it's often accompanied by intense emotions that can cloud judgment and lead to impulsive behavior. Urge surfing equips you with the skills to observe these emotions with curiosity rather than suppression. By acknowledging your emotions without judgment, you can begin to understand their source and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This allows you to weather emotional storms with greater resilience, emerging stronger and more capable of managing your emotional state in the face of future urges.

Related Article: How to Build Resilience in Children

How to Urge Surf

Urge surfing can be done in a few short steps. Essentially, you will learn how to realize what’s going on, allow yourself to feel it, and then move forward from there.

Recognize the urge

The first step is recognizing the urge. You need to become aware that you’re experiencing an urge or a craving. Start by recognizing that you are having an urge without judgment or resistance. This will allow you to accept that you are having an urge.

Pause and breathe

The next step is to pause and breathe. Pay attention to your breathing without attempting to control it — think of it as following your breath. Observe how the air feels entering your nose and lungs. Try focusing on one aspect of your breathing, whether it’s how your belly expands or noticing each time you breathe in and out.

Acknowledge the urge

At this point, you can acknowledge your urge. Rather than fighting the urge, pay attention to the physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions that are associated with the urge. Take a minute to figure out where in your body you feel the sensations the most strongly.

Stay present

Be present in the current moment by observing your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. Remember that you are taking the role of the observer here, so you do not need to act on your urges. This may be difficult the first few times you do it, especially since most of us aren’t accustomed to separating ourselves from our feelings.

Ride the wave

Think of your urges as waves that rise, crest, and break, retreating back into the ocean. This may help you gain perspective on your urges. Instead of fighting the“wave,” which is often very difficult to do as it is a powerful force that can consume you, you can ride it instead. Doing so means accepting what comes and deciding what you can do until the urge subsides. Instead of wiping out, you observe it with acceptance. You become one with the wave, riding its crest without judgment. As you do, you realize the urge isn't permanent. By staying present and choosing not to fight the urge, you emerge on the other side calmer, more in control, and ready to choose a response that aligns with your goals.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is among the best practices to help you surf your urges. When an urge happens and you notice it, take a moment to recognize what you are feeling and how that feeling feeds into the urge. The earlier you identify it, the better your chance of overcoming it. Try to feel your emotions as they are and understand that the changes you feel are a result of an urge.

Use coping strategies

Urge surfing doesn't simply involve passively riding out the wave of a craving. It's a springboard for developing healthier coping strategies. By acknowledging the urge and observing the emotions and sensations attached to it, you gain valuable insights into your triggers. This self-awareness allows you to craft coping mechanisms that target the root of the urge.

You can identify activities that distract you effectively, like taking a walk or engaging in a relaxing hobby. It also empowers you to develop healthier ways to manage difficult emotions that might fuel the urge, such as journaling or seeking support from a friend.

Practice self-compassion

One part of mastering urge surfing lies in cultivating a mindset of self-compassion and understanding. By recognizing cravings as a natural part of your human experience, you are able to accept them and develop much-needed resilience as you go through life’s challenges. Rather than blaming yourself for experiencing cravings and urges, you develop a mental perspective of openness and curiosity. This can be empowering and result in decreased reactivity, more self-control, and increased self-compassion.

Reflect and learn

Upon completing these steps, it is essential to sit for a moment or two to reflect and learn more about your urges. This can help you figure out how to act the next time you feel another urge coming. Hopefully, it will allow you to successfully ride out that urge as well.

Limitation of Urge Surfing

While urge surfing offers a powerful approach to managing cravings and urges, it's important to acknowledge its limitations.

• Strength of urges. Not all urges are created equal. Urge surfing might be less effective for very intense or long-lasting urges, particularly in the initial stages of addiction recovery. Combining urge surfing with other coping mechanisms might be necessary in these cases.
• Underlying issues. Urge surfing addresses the urge itself, but it doesn't necessarily address the underlying causes of the urge. If the urge stems from a deeper emotional issue, professional help might be needed to unpack those issues and develop long-term solutions.
• Practice is required. Similar to any skill, urge surfing takes practice and patience to master. It can be frustrating in the beginning, especially if you struggle to detach from the urge or haven't developed strong coping mechanisms yet.
• Not a Cure-All. Urge surfing is a valuable tool but not a magic solution. It should be considered part of a comprehensive approach to managing urges alongside therapy, support groups, or other relevant interventions.

The Bottom Line

Urge surfing is a great option for everyday cravings that we want to manage more effectively. It’s all about visualizing your craving as a wave, learning to accept it, and riding it out while making good decisions about how to react. Mindfulness is at the very center of this technique, so do not forget to stay in the present and treat your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Doing so can help you have more control over your actions.

While urge surfing is a great technique that can be integrated into daily life, it is not a replacement for professional medical care, especially for more severe conditions. That said, we do recommend seeing a professional to get the care you require while integrating urge surfing into your routine.

Feel free to browse our DBT worksheets and handouts, which include urge surfing and other helpful skills for emotion regulation and distress tolerance.

References:

1. Larimer M, Palmer R, Marlatt G. Relapse Prevention. 1999.
2. Lynch T, Gray K, Hempel R, et al. Radically open-dialectical behavior therapy for adult anorexia nervosa: feasibility and outcomes from an inpatient program. 7 November 2013.