Healing Isn’t Linear — And That’s Okay

We’ve all heard the phrase before—healing isn’t linear. But what does it mean? Simply put, the path to healing isn’t a straight, step-by-step process. Instead, we may encounter hurdles and occasionally feel like we’re slipping back to square one.

However, this is a normal part of recovery. Our healing needs are varied, and no two timelines are identical. Dive deep into what it means when we say healing isn’t linear and learn helpful tips for getting back up after a setback.

What Does “Healing Isn’t Linear” Actually Mean?

When someone uses the phrase “healing isn’t linear,” they mean that it isn’t a step-by-step process. Experiencing physical, emotional, or mental trauma isn’t straightforward and feels more like a journey with many ups and downs.

Healing isn’t smooth or predictable, and it may cause you to fall back occasionally. Because trauma can quickly become overwhelming, you might turn to destructive habits and quick fixes or struggle to use healthy coping mechanisms.

Why is Healing Not a Straight Line?

Healing isn’t a straight line because the process is complex and unpredictable. When you’re healing, anything can happen, including setbacks, a mix of emotions, changes in your environment, and other experiences. 

Sometimes, your progress may feel stalled because of a lack of access to support or professional resources. You might become stressed, anxious, or have negative experiences that trigger regression.

Is It Normal to Have Setbacks During Healing?

Yes, it’s normal to have setbacks when you’re healing! Setbacks are often temporary and can serve as learning experiences for people healing from trauma, physical injury, or poor mental health.

While it may seem like you’re failing or setting the clock back to zero, this isn’t the case. Changing habits and behaviors takes time and persistence, so don’t be surprised if the journey isn’t smooth sailing.

If you expect quick results, which is unrealistic, setbacks can make you feel disappointed, discouraged, and even angry at yourself.

What Should I Do If I Experience a Setback in My Healing Process?

Traumas and life challenges can be complex and deeply impactful; making them difficult to recover from. However, setbacks are not failures, and there are ways to keep moving forward.

Acknowledge the setback without judgment

The first step in moving forward after experiencing a setback is to acknowledge your place in the healing journey without judgment. You might feel frustrated, angry, or disappointed, and that’s okay.

Research shows that expressing how you feel in words can improve emotional regulation, as doing so can diminish the intensity of negative emotions [*]. Still, you don’t need to rush to a solution.

Allow yourself to feel these natural responses without rushing the need to feel better. One way to do so is to ride the wave. Understand that setbacks will come and go, but that you need not hold on to them.

Reflect on what triggered it

When reflecting on what triggers a setback, view the situation from an objective lens. Identify the specific event that may have led to you encountering a setback. Then, consider how your thoughts, feelings, and reactions affected the outcome.

PSTD triggers can cause strong emotional reactions or distress. They can come from anywhere—you might hear a song that reminds you of a lost loved one or encounter the site of a car accident where you got hurt. Common triggers can be:

• Sensory, such as smells and sounds
• Emotional, such as feelings of rejection or sadness
• Situational, such as on holidays, anniversaries, or significant events

When you encounter a trigger, examine your mindset. Do you feel fixated on that trigger? What can you do to overcome it?

If the trigger overwhelms you, practice mindfulness and grounding techniques, such as deep breathing exercises or a quick body scan.

Reframe the setback

Once you’ve acknowledged and accepted the setback, it’s time to reframe your mindset. Identify the lesson you can take away from your setback—what do you think went wrong and why?

Then, challenge negative thoughts you might have about yourself and your progress. Suppose you argued with a loved one and feel your actions were irrational. You might think, “We had an argument, and it was all my fault.”

Reframe this thought into something more positive and that presents a learning opportunity, like “We had an argument, but this can be a growth point. We can talk about what’s really going on.” 

Talk to someone you trust

Social support can make a significant impact on the healing process. When you’re surrounded by loved ones and people you trust, you feel less alone. Studies show that people heal better together, so reach out to someone you can talk to [*].

Part of seeking social support is contacting a mental health professional when your emotional pain becomes unbearable. Undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or emotionally focused therapy (EFT) can help you process dysfunctional beliefs and develop healthier coping mechanisms [*]. 

Consider attending a support group, as members can offer understanding, awareness, and validation for your feelings and experiences. Together, you can develop healthy self-care practices and coping mechanisms. Trained facilitators can provide structure, resources, and expert advice. 

Remember how far you’ve come

When you’re healing from a traumatic experience, you might feel “broken,” but you aren’t. Don’t beat yourself up for falling behind. Instead, practice self-compassion. When you engage in self-compassion, you acknowledge that everyone experiences setbacks. All people are imperfect.

Remember how far you’ve come by thanking yourself for your progress. Despite your emotional turmoil, you’ve persevered throughout your healing journey and stayed focused on your goals.

One way to honor your healing process is through journaling, which provides a safe space to explore emotions and recognize patterns you might want to change. If you’re feeling stumped, use journaling prompts like “What challenges have I overcome recently?” or “What coping strategies are most helpful for me?”

Alternatively, you can create a progress timeline and map out significant milestones, such as personal achievements and previous setbacks you’ve overcome. Creating a visual representation of your journey can be an essential motivator.

Recommit to the process

Recommitting to the process doesn’t mean getting to the finish line as fast as possible—it means focusing on your circle of control. In the circle of control are things we can influence directly. These include your thoughts and actions.

If you’re experiencing a setback, you can apply the circle of control by recognizing feelings like guilt or frustration. Then, you can start re-establishing daily routines that are manageable and positive.

Something you can try is “lifestyle medicine,” which research supports is an excellent method for improving your physical health and well-being [*]. Lifestyle medicine includes a balance of healthy eating, regular exercise, weight management, and emotional regulation. Activities that can help you get back on track include yoga, meditation, dance classes, and aerobic exercises.

Healing Isn’t Linear – And That’s Okay

Healing isn’t a race to the finish line. Instead, it’s a combination of progress, relapses, and positive action. With the right motivators, support, and professional help, your healing journey can be meaningful.

Explore our collection of coping skills worksheets and trauma worksheets to discover activities for tolerating difficult circumstances during your healing journey.

Sources:

1. Torre JB, Lieberman MD. “Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling as Implicit Emotion Regulation.” Emotion Review, 2018.
2. Li F, Luo S, Mu W, et al. “Effects of sources of social support and resilience on the mental health of different age groups during the COVID-19 pandemic.” BMC Psychiatry, 2021.
3. Lippman D, Stump M, Veazey E, et al. “Foundations of Lifestyle Medicine and its Evolution.” Mayo Clinic Proceedings Innovations Quality & Outcomes, 2024.