Key Takeaways:
- Social anxiety in teens can manifest as difficulties in maintaining close friendships, an inability to function in public settings, low self-esteem, and physical symptoms.
- Teenagers with social anxiety may struggle academically, develop poor self-identity, and even turn to substance use.
- You can help your child overcome social anxiety by communicating openly, modeling healthy social behaviors, and seeking professional help when necessary.
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Many teenagers are shy, especially when they enter high school. But what if your teen is refusing to go to class, withdrawing from friends, and constantly breaking down in social situations? That could be a sign of social anxiety in teens.
In this article, you’ll learn the signs of social anxiety in teens, how to support your child, and behaviors to avoid as they learn to overcome their fears.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is a mental health condition wherein individuals might feel fear or anxiety in social situations [*]. People with social anxiety may struggle to meet new people, perform in front of an audience, take phone calls, or participate in interviews for fear of being judged.
Similar to social anxiety in children, social anxiety in teens can negatively affect interpersonal relationships, academic performance, and emotional well-being.
While social anxiety may look like regular shyness, the latter doesn’t disrupt a child’s everyday life, nor does it create intense fear. For instance, a shy person might feel awkward in social situations but eventually become comfortable participating in conversations, whereas someone with social anxiety might avoid conversation altogether.
Signs of Social Anxiety in Teens
Social anxiety in teens can manifest in ways that can be categorized into the following.
Behavioral:
- Avoiding social situations, such as school, parties, or team sports
- Difficulty maintaining close friendships
- Speaking softly or avoiding eye contact during conversations
- Inability to engage in public speaking
Emotional:
- Fear of judgment, embarrassment, and how they are perceived
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Inability to focus on tasks or concentrate
- Low self-esteem
Physical:
- Sweating
- Trembling
- Blushing
- Rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath
- Nausea and vomiting
- Muscle aches and stomach pains
What Causes Social Anxiety in Teens?
Social anxiety in teens can occur due to a mix of the following factors:
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Biological: Social anxiety is more likely to develop in teenagers whose parents suffer from the same symptoms [*]. Traits from parents can also influence how a teenager experiences stress in social situations.
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Environmental: Sometimes, social anxiety is learned. If a parent is overprotective, paranoid, or controlling, resulting in social isolation, teenagers may become shy or anxious.
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Social: Negative or traumatizing life events can also cause social anxiety [*]. Factors like bullying, abuse, and negative social interactions can cause anxiety.
How Social Anxiety Impacts a Teen’s Life
Social anxiety can have a profound effect on teenagers, especially regarding self-esteem and identity development. They may feel like they have no friends because of a negative self-image or a fear of being judged.
Due to social avoidance, teenagers may struggle to form meaningful, intimate relationships with others [*]. They might be so afraid of rejection that they close themselves off or fail to communicate their emotions.
Additionally, social avoidance is often accompanied by school-related anxiety and refusal. Teenagers might have panic attacks when they think about having to participate in class or socialize with peers. Test anxiety is also a common aspect of social anxiety. Parents can help their children overcome test anxiety by practicing relaxation techniques at home and encouraging positive self-talk.
As social anxiety worsens, teenagers can fall into depression and even substance use. It’s common for teenagers with social anxiety to engage in recreational drugs, especially marijuana.
How to Help Teens with Social Anxiety
Parents play a significant role in equipping their teenagers with the proper coping mechanisms for social anxiety. If you suspect that your child is struggling socially, consider these strategies.
Model healthy social behaviors
Children often take after their parents, and modeling healthy social behaviors can have a significant impact. For instance, you can host a dinner party, modeling politeness, active listening, and positive interactions.
From these behaviors, your child may develop healthier coping skills for anxiety, including cognitive restructuring, grounding, and good boundaries.
Provide a safe and supportive environment
Sometimes, teenagers become socially anxious in spaces where they feel judged. It’s critical to ensure your home is a safe space for your child to express their emotions. Consider daily check-ins and listen without judging.
Encourage gradual exposure to social situations
Nowadays, teenagers spend most of their time online. Encourage real-life interactions by suggesting they join peer groups, such as after-school clubs or team sports. You can offer to accompany your child to potential social situations, such as local fairs or events.
Teach them healthy coping strategies
Social anxiety can trigger panic attacks and meltdowns, so equipping your child with healthy anxiety-related coping strategies can help them calm down in the moment. Deep breathing is highly effective for managing anxiety attacks, as it can help lower heart rate. Explore other calming exercises, such as using positive affirmations for anxiety and the five senses technique.
Limit social media use
It’s well-known that social media can affect self-esteem, especially when your teenager encounters instances of cyberbullying. Limit screen time by engaging in hands-on activities with your child, such as art or music. Encourage face-to-face interactions with friends or spend time outdoors.
Seek professional help
In severe cases, social anxiety can become debilitating to a teenager. If it becomes disruptive to their daily lives, consider seeking professional help. Most pediatricians refer teenagers to a psychologist, who may use cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) to help teens respond differently to their anxious thoughts [*].
Another type of therapy effective for treating social anxiety is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which focuses on improving interpersonal effectiveness through mindfulness and distress tolerance [*].
A psychiatrist might prescribe selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) to address the depressive symptoms that co-occur with social anxiety [*].
What Not to Do When a Teen Struggles with Social Anxiety
Sometimes, parents falsely diagnose social anxiety with regular shyness, which can be detrimental to a teen’s well-being. They might feel ostracized, misunderstood, and unsupported. Here are a few behaviors you should avoid if your teen struggles with social anxiety.
Minimize their fears
Telling a teen “It’s all in your head” or “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” invalidates their thoughts and feelings. Minimizing their fears can make them feel like they are the problem. Instead, validate their experiences and brainstorm ways to address the root of the problem.
Push them too fast
Practice makes perfect, but it takes time. Avoid forcing your teen into social situations when they aren’t ready. Start small, such as hosting a friend from school or spending a few hours at the mall.
Use negative self-talk
Blaming yourself for your teen’s social anxiety is counterintuitive. Instead, shift your focus toward the future and how you can support your child’s social development.
Make them feel ashamed
Comments like “Why are you so shy?” or “Just get over it” can make your teenager feel ashamed. Critizing them can make them even more avoidant and discourage them from opening up to you.
Focus on the negative
Focusing on the negative aspects of your child’s behavior and progress adds significant pressure. It can hinder progress, especially if your child believes they cannot change.
The Bottom Line
Social anxiety in teens can feel overwhelming, but patience and practice are key to helping your child improve their interpersonal relationships. Understanding the root cause of your child’s social anxiety, modeling healthy social behaviors, practicing coping mechanisms, and seeking professional help can target their symptoms.
Find more helpful activities in our collection of anxiety worksheets for teens.
FAQs About Social Anxiety in Teens
How can I tell if my teen has social anxiety or is just shy?
You can determine whether your teen has social anxiety or is simply shy by observing the severity of their reactions to social situations. Shy teenagers may be reserved or avoid initiating conversations, but they can still participate in social interactions. Teens with social anxiety may avoid these interactions altogether and experience panic attacks in such settings.
Can a teen with social anxiety live a normal life?
Yes, a teen with social anxiety can live a normal life, given that they have access to the appropriate support. Teens with severe social anxiety can get help from pediatricians and child psychologists, who may recommend CBT or medication.
How long does it take to see improvement with treatment?
It takes anywhere between several weeks and a few months to see improvement in social anxiety symptoms with treatment. CBT programs typically last between 12 and 16 sessions, which can span up to a year.
Sources:
- Leigh E, Clark DM. “Understanding Social Anxiety Disorder in Adolescents and Improving Treatment Outcomes: Applying the Cognitive Model of Clark and Wells.” Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2018.
- Festa CC, Ginsburg GS. “Parental and Peer Predictors of Social Anxiety in Youth.” Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 2011.
- Bjornsson AS, Hardarson JP, Valdimarsdottir AG, et al. “Social trauma and its association with posttraumatic stress disorder and social anxiety disorder.” Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 2020.
- Leigh E, Clark DM. “Cognitive Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder in Adolescents: A Development Case Series.” Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 2015.
- Andino MV, Garcia KM, Richey JA. “Can dialectical behavior therapy skills group treat social anxiety disorder? A brief integrative review.” Frontiers in Psychology, 2024.
- Fujii Y, Asakura S, Mitsui N. “PHARMACOTHERAPY OF SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDERS IN CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS.” International Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology, 2025.