|
Key Takeaways:
- Children need to develop emotional intelligence, as it improves their physical and mental health and sets them up for social and academic success.
- You can help your child improve their emotional intelligence by role-playing real-life scenarios, talking openly about their feelings, and providing specific praise.
- The signs of an emotionally mature child include expressing themselves verbally, showing concern over how others feel, and learning to self-soothe.
|
Building emotional intelligence in kids lays the foundation for healthy relationships, academic success, and a stable future. But learning to manage big emotions isn’t always easy—even for adults!
Understanding emotional intelligence and how to improve your child’s emotional awareness can put them on a path toward success. Learn why emotional intelligence matters in children and what you can do to help them improve this important life skill.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to manage their emotions and understand the feelings of other people [*]. An emotionally intelligent person demonstrates self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. They are not impulsive or hasty. Instead, they are mindful of their emotions and how these may affect their actions.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters for Children
Emotional intelligence is helpful for the challenges a child might face every day. When they learn to respond to everyday obstacles, they grow more self-reliant and can problem-solve without too much assistance from others.
High emotional intelligence can help children navigate school complexities and carry this skill into their professional lives.
It also plays a significant role in a child’s physical and mental health. When children are unable to manage their emotions, they can become easily stressed. High stress levels can result in higher blood pressure, a suppressed immune system, and even an increased risk of heart attacks [*]. Mentally, children with poor emotional management can become anxious and depressed.
Being in tune with their emotions makes children more aware of and connected to the world around them. They can forge stronger relationships when they communicate more effectively.
How to Help Kids Build Emotional Intelligence
Children can improve their emotional intelligence at any time, but developing it early can serve as an advantage in their personal and academic lives. Here’s what you can do to help.
Model healthy emotional responses
Children learn a great deal by observing what their parents do. You can model healthy emotional responses by acknowledging your feelings with simple, easy-to-understand language.
Suppose you’ve had a long, stressful day at work. Use honest language. For example, “I’m tired and feeling quite stressed.” Then, demonstrate how you can address these feelings. Maybe you’ll take a few deep breaths and follow a simple self-care routine, such as making a cup of tea or taking a leisurely stroll outdoors.
Encourage your child to talk about their feelings
It can be challenging to connect with your child when they’re reluctant to share their feelings. Encourage them to be open (at their own pace, of course) by creating a safe space for discussion.
For instance, you might develop a daily feelings check-in with the entire family and reflect on each other’s experiences. If your children are hesitant to share their thoughts verbally, consider activities that don’t require them to talk out loud. Older children might take to journaling, while it may be more appropriate to equip younger children with simpler, more visual tools, such as flash cards or a feelings thermometer chart.
Help your child recognize emotions in others
Empathy goes a long way in a child’s character development. This is a trait that will make them better communicators and able to maintain meaningful long-term relationships.
First, children should develop a language for emotions. When you notice your child feels a certain way, help them label those emotions, and also help them identify the emotions they see in others.
Keep things entertaining by engaging in play. For instance, you might play emotions charades to give them a visual understanding of a spectrum of feelings or use a feelings alphabet.
Role-play common situations
Role-playing common scenarios can prepare your child for complex real-life situations in a safe space. Select a scenario that your child is likely to encounter. For example, a difficult conversation with a friend or a conflict between team members on the basketball team.
Assign roles to your child and yourself, so everyone gets to experience multiple perspectives. Enact the scenario and ask your child to listen actively, identify how the other person is feeling, and find a healthy compromise.
Then, reflect on the activity. Discuss the emotions your child might’ve felt as they enacted the scenario and what parts of it they may have found challenging.
Praise your child for managing feelings well
Praise can do wonders for a child’s self-esteem and motivate them to keep working on their emotional management. However, the praise you provide should be specific and give your child something to reflect on. For example, you might say, “I’m so proud of you for using your words to express how you were upset,” or “You did a really good job taking a step back when you were feeling frustrated.”
Be sincere and use non-verbal cues, too, such as a thumbs up, a smile, or a high five, to keep your child encouraged.
The Bottom Line
Managing emotions isn’t always easy, especially when a child feels overwhelmed or upset. However, developing their emotional intelligence can equip them to face difficult situations and learn to become better problem solvers.
Use our feelings worksheets to help your child become more in tune with their emotions.
FAQs
At what age do kids develop emotional intelligence?
Kids start developing emotional intelligence as early as infancy and continue through adolescence [*]. While infants are just beginning to develop neural pathways, older kids start showing empathy and learn to self-regulate.
When should I start teaching my child emotional intelligence?
You can start teaching your child about emotional intelligence from infancy. Respond to their needs and foster a secure attachment to provide them with a strong emotional foundation.
What are the signs my child is developing emotional intelligence?
Signs your child is developing emotional intelligence include showing concern for others, expressing how they feel verbally, and demonstrating strong social skills.
Sources:
- Lluna María Bru-Luna, Martí-Vilar M, César Merino-Soto, Cervera-Santiago JL. “Emotional Intelligence Measures: A Systematic Review.” Healthcare, 2021.
- C Ayada, Ü Toru, Y Korkut. “The relationship of stress and blood pressure effectors.” Hippokratia, 2015.
- Malik F, Marwaha R. “Developmental Stages of Social Emotional Development in Children.” StatPearls Publishing, 2022.
