Opposite Action Skill: DBT Emotional Regulation Technique to Manage Difficult Emotions

Updated on Jul 16, 2026

Key Takeaways:

Opposite action is a DBT emotion regulation skill that involves choosing a behavior that goes against an unhelpful emotional urge.
You can apply opposite action by naming your emotion, noticing your urge, checking the facts, and choosing a safe opposite response.
Opposite action can be used in many everyday situations, including at home, school, work, and around other people.

You feel nervous about speaking in front of the class, so you want to stay home. Or maybe you feel upset with a friend and want to ignore their messages. In moments like these, the DBT opposite action skill can help you choose a response that may be more helpful.

Strong emotions can push you to act in ways that feel right at the moment. However, avoiding what scares you can make fear stronger. Acting on anger may lead to words or actions you later regret.

In this article, you will learn how opposite action works, how to use it, and ways to practice it in everyday life.

What is the Opposite Action Skill?

Opposite action is a DBT emotion regulation skill that teaches you to act against an unhelpful emotional urge. It is based on the idea that emotions prepare the body to respond in certain ways [*][*].

Think about the signals your body sends each day. A growling stomach may lead you to find something to eat. Feeling too warm may make you move to a cooler place. Sore muscles may tell you to slow down and take a break.

Emotions can also send signals that prepare you to take action. The opposite action skill gives you a chance to check that signal before following it. If the emotion does not fit the facts of the situation or acting on it is not helpful, you choose an opposite behavior instead.

Changing what you do may help the emotion become less intense.

How the Opposite Action Skill Works

Each emotion can bring an urge to do something. Here are some common emotions and their opposite actions:

Fear: You may want to avoid, hide, or run away. Opposite action: Safely face what you fear and take one small step toward it.
Anger: You may want to yell, argue, or attack. Opposite action: Speak gently, relax your body, or step away calmly.
Sadness: You may want to stay in bed or stop doing activities. Opposite action: Get active and do something that gives you a sense of joy or purpose.
Shame: You may want to hide or keep a secret. Opposite action: Talk openly with someone you trust and keep your head up.
Guilt: You may want to avoid thinking about what happened. Opposite action: Face the situation, apologize if needed, and try to repair the harm.
Jealousy: You may want to compare yourself to others or act cold toward them. Opposite action: Focus on your own strengths and show kindness toward the other person.
Disgust: You may want to pull away or reject something right away. Opposite action: Move closer, stay present, and try to understand the situation when it is safe to do so.

The opposite action you choose should always be safe and fit the situation. You do not have to ignore your feelings.

How to Apply the Opposite Action Skill

Learning to act opposite to an emotion takes practice. These steps can help you notice your emotional urges and choose a more helpful response:

Name the emotion: Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Try to name the emotion clearly, such as fear, anger, sadness, or shame.
Notice what you want to do: Pay attention to the action your emotion is pushing you toward. You may want to hide, yell, give up, or avoid someone.
Check the facts: Look at what is actually happening. Ask yourself if your emotion and its strength match the situation.
Ask if the urge is helpful: Think about what may happen if you follow the urge. Will your action help you solve the problem, or could it make things harder?
Choose the opposite action: Pick a safe behavior that goes against your emotional urge. If you want to avoid a task because of fear, you might take one small step toward starting it.
Commit to the action: Try to follow through fully instead of doing the opposite action halfway. Your body language, words, and behavior should support the new action.
Notice what changes: Check in with yourself after taking the opposite action. Your emotion may not disappear right away, but notice if its intensity or your urge changes.

Putting these steps into practice can help you feel more comfortable using opposite action.

Examples of Opposite Action Skill in Real Life

Maybe you are curious about what the opposite action skill looks like in real life. The examples below show how you can use it at home, at school, at work, and in social situations:

At home: You feel sad after a difficult day and want to stay in your room all evening. Instead, you use opposite action by joining your family for dinner or doing a simple activity you usually enjoy.
At school: You feel nervous about asking a question in class because you are afraid of getting embarrassed. Rather than staying quiet, you raise your hand and ask your question.
At work: You feel angry after a coworker disagrees with your idea and want to send a rude message. Instead, you wait until you feel calmer and respond in a respectful way.
With friends: You feel jealous when your friend shares good news and want to act cold toward them. You choose to congratulate them and show interest in what they have to say.
At a social event: You feel shy and want to spend the whole time looking at your phone. Instead, you put your phone away and start a short conversation with someone nearby.
During a disagreement: You feel the urge to raise your voice when someone says something you dislike. You lower your voice, listen, and explain your thoughts calmly.
When trying something new: Fear tells you to cancel an activity because you might make a mistake. Instead, you show up and give yourself permission to learn as you go.

Tips

Opposite action can take time to get used to. As you practice this DBT skill, keep these helpful reminders in mind:

Start with small steps: You do not have to make a huge change at once.
Be patient with the process: Opposite action may not change your feelings right away, so keep practicing and notice small changes.
Practice with everyday emotions: Use the skill during smaller moments of frustration, worry, or sadness. Regular practice can make the steps easier to remember.
Write down your go-to actions: Make a short list of opposite actions for emotions you often experience. Keep it somewhere you can easily check when you need it.

Switch It Up

Strong emotions can make a response feel like your only choice. However, you can learn to notice an emotional urge and try a different action when that urge is not helping you.

Learning opposite action is a process, and it is okay if the skill feels challenging at first. Practice it in everyday situations so you can become more comfortable using it when emotions feel stronger.