Grief does not follow a timeline. It might manifest as depression, anxiety, anger, numbness, and confusion.
You can manage grief by allowing yourself to feel without judgment, creating daily routines, talking with a loved one, expressing yourself, and taking care of your body.
It’s best to contact a professional if your grief starts disrupting your function, hurting your relationships, or causing you to have thoughts of self-harm.
Grief is never easy. Most people describe it as a roller coaster with emotions constantly rising and falling. While overcoming grief may sometimes feel impossible, learning coping skills for grief can offer a much-needed calm amidst the storm.
This article will explore what grief might look like, the five key coping skills for managing grief, how you can cope with sudden losses, and how you can help children manage grief.
What Grief Can Feel Like (And Why It’s Different for Everyone)
Grief often feels like a tornado. It can destroy any good feelings in its wake. As we run from it, we become physically exhausted. However, no two people experience grief in the same way.
Grief affects us emotionally, mentally, and physically. It manifests as depression, numbness, confusion, anxiety, and a disruptive 'fog,' often taking a physical toll. Studies show that grieving people have lower immunity and a higher chance of becoming sick [*].
While we often speak of the stages of grief, there is no “timeline” for healing. Grief is a non-linear process. Sometimes we are angry before we are in denial. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong amount of time to grieve.
Grief can bring unexpected reactions: sudden physical pain, moments of joy, or even feeling a loved one’s presence.. All are normal, a result of the brain coping with traumatic change.
5 Coping Skills for Grief
We don’t always know how to manage our emotions when we’re grieving, but the right tools can make them less overwhelming. Here are five helpful coping skills for grief.
Let yourself feel without judgment
Accept that there is no correct way to grieve. You may experience an avalanche of emotions at once or feel numb for weeks—even months. Grief is entirely unique and may not look "normal."
Don’t avoid your feelings. When you suppress your grief, you extend your denial and put yourself at risk of developing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) [*]. Denying your grief also creates chronic stress, which can take a physical toll on the body.
When you’re overcome by a wave of grief, practice affective labeling or naming your emotions. Doing this can be highly validating and create distance between the person and the feeling.
Create small daily routines
Grief can disrupt anyone’s routine, especially when they’re caught up in conflicting emotions. Creating small daily routines can help you build your life back together piece by piece.
Simple routines, like making your bed or taking a midday break, reintroduce control and rhythm. They also improve decision-making, which is vital during grief when even simple choices feel impossible. Consistent habits provide predictability, comfort, and stability, making it easier to function.
Don’t jump right into complex goals. Start small. Take a shower once a day. Go for a 10-minute walk outside. Put together a healthy breakfast. Dedicate time to journal or reflect.
Talk to someone you trust
No one should grieve alone. Talking to family or friends provides support. Before you begin, clarify what you need: a solution, or just to vent? Setting these expectations makes the conversation more productive.
You don’t need a cohesive story. Just share what you’ve been feeling. Use “I” statements, such as “I haven’t been able to move today,” or “I feel like I’ve been floating in a haze.”
Sometimes, you may want to keep your feelings to yourself, and staying silent can be okay under certain circumstances. If your social battery is low, talking to someone else can be overstimulating.
However, it can help to speak up when your silence is making you feel trapped. Sharing your thoughts can feel like a healthy release.
Express grief in personal ways
Grief is a highly personal experience, as is its expression. Journaling offers unfiltered dialogue, whether writing letters to the deceased or reflecting on memories.
Some people express their grief visually through art. Studies show that expressive arts can tap into feelings in ways words and actions can’t [*]. Activities as simple as expressive doodling can help visually represent your internal state.
Expressing grief can involve continuing your relationship with a loved one, not by staying in denial, but through healthy commemoration. Examples include visiting shared places or cooking their favorite meals.
Take care of your body
When we are grieving, it can be easy to overlook our physical needs. We become so overcome with sadness, anger, or despair that we neglect our sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Being sleep-deprived affects the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for how we regulate emotions [*]. Finding ways to clear the mind, such as a short meditation or prayer session, before bed can help you get better-quality sleep.
Grieving people often overlook hydration. Crying dehydrates us, causing brain fog and exhaustion. Drinking enough water prevents faintness or dizziness during emotional spikes.
Movement is another thing that can help break the cycle of feeling lost and heavy. Gentle exercises like yoga and walking release endorphins, which are natural pain relievers in the body.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Skills
Grief causes stress, making quick fixes more appealing. Seeking immediate relief from emotional pain, we might resort to unhealthy coping skills like pretending we're fine, using alcohol to "dampen" feelings, or staying overly busy to avoid emotions.
You can often tell a coping skill is unhealthy by observing how it makes you feel in the long run and what the consequences are. For example, if you’ve been having a couple of glasses of wine every night, ask yourself: “Is this really helping me process my feelings or am I doing this so I don’t have to feel at all?”
Consider whether these coping mechanisms are interfering with your daily life. Are you able to do your work? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you still maintaining your relationships
Finally, think about whether this behavior is the only thing that makes you feel better. If that’s the case, it may no longer be a tool—it’s a crutch.
Coping with Sudden or Traumatic Loss
Sudden losses can feel more intense because the mind doesn’t have time to process the event. A sudden death can disrupt the routines we are used to and make it difficult for the brain to process what’s happening around it.
When grief is so sudden, the goal isn’t to eliminate or “fix” the feelings. The goal is to stabilize your system so you can begin processing the grief. Ground yourself by focusing on the next few minutes. Don’t make any high-stakes decisions. Cater to your immediate needs. Ask a loved one for help.
Coping with Grief Anniversaries and Triggers
Even though time heals, grief anniversaries can feel as overwhelming as the day you experienced the loss. Research shows that the body “remembers” trauma by storing cellular memories [*]. As an anniversary approaches, you might feel anxious or tense.
Certain triggers, such as a smell, song, or place, can make you remember the loss. These triggers activate the amygdala instantly without any time to process.
Preparation is key. Keep your schedule clear or flexible. Anticipate anxiety before the anniversary and cope. Turn to comforting rituals like prayer, music, or talking to your lost loved one.
Supporting Children Who Are Grieving
Grief in children differs from that of adults, especially when they lack the vocabulary to express it. They may display it through behavioral changes like regression (e.g., an older child suddenly sucking their thumb or losing toilet training), physical complaints, and hyperactivity.
Younger children might not understand why their loved one is no longer around. They might assume the loss is temporary and expect their loved one to return.
All these things can be overwhelming, not just for the child, but for the parent. Here are some grief-related coping skills you can teach your child to ease the burden on both of you:
Creative outlets: Encourage your child to doodle their emotions, create a grief jar to place their feelings inside, or listen to music that makes them feel safe and strong.
Sensory grounding: Help pull your child back into the present moment through exercises like box breathing, a firm self-hug, or a body scan.
Connection rituals: Find ways to keep your child connected with the lost loved one. Create a memory box together or have conversations about what you remember most fondly.
When discussing loss with a child, use concrete language. Don't shy from words like "died" or "dead." Validate their feelings and reassure them of safety.
Avoid skirting around the subject with euphemisms, but don’t force the subject if it’s clear your child doesn’t want to talk about it. Not sure how to approach the subject? It may help to read books about grief together.
Sometimes, grief can evolve in such a way that it requires clinical intervention. It’s best to seek professional help if you’re unable to function, feel persistent worry or dread, have thoughts of self-harm, or are relying heavily on substances for relief.
Distinguish behaviors that seem like grief from depression. Grief typically focuses solely on the loss of loved ones. Depression, however, involves pervasive sadness affecting most aspects of life.
When seeking help, know that there are many options, including peer support groups, talk therapy, family grief counseling, and specialized grief therapy.
If you’re struggling to manage your grief, you can contact the following hotlines:
988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline: call or text 988
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
The Compassionate Friends: call (877) 969-0010
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors: call +1 202-588-8277
National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine: call (800) 950-NAMI or text HelpLine to 62640
The Bottom Line
Healing from loss takes time, support, and effort. It’s not a linear process, but having the right tools can help keep you physically and emotionally safe. Explore our grief worksheets to find exercises and activities that work for you and your child.
Sources:
O’Connor MF. “Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain Adapt.” Psychosomatic Medicine, 2019.
Schoo C, Azhar Y, Mughal S, Rout P. “Grief and Prolonged Grief Disorder.” National Library of Medicine, 2025.
Shukla A, Choudhari SG, Gaidhane AM, Quazi Syed Z. “Role of Art Therapy in the Promotion of Mental Health: A Critical Review.” Cureus, 2022.
Hyndych A, El-Abassi R, Mader EC. “The Role of Sleep and the Effects of Sleep Loss on Cognitive, Affective, and Behavioral Processes.” Cureus, 2025.
Ashinze P, Salawu W, Akande E, et al. “Neurocognitive outcomes and memory transfer in heart transplantation.” Global Cardiology Science and Practice, 2025.
