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Key Takeaways:
- Children may have emotional outbursts because of emotional immaturity, unmet needs, stress, anxiety, and challenges in expressing themselves.
- You can help your child cope with emotional outbursts by staying calm, providing a supportive environment, teaching coping strategies, and validating their feelings.
- You may need to seek professional help for emotional outbursts if they become disruptive to your child’s daily life or pose a risk to their safety or the safety of others.
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Parents must know how to respond, but it can be challenging to discover what works for your child. This guide will equip you with what you need to know about emotional outbursts, why they happen, and how you can support your child.
What is an Emotional Outburst?
An emotional outburst is an intense and often uncontrolled expression of overwhelming feelings [*]. During an emotional outburst, a child might yell, kick, scream, show physical aggression, and even self-harm.
These outbursts are often sudden and unexpected, and the child may struggle to manage their emotional responses.
Why Kids Have Emotional Outbursts
Children who have frequent emotional outbursts are often emotionally dysregulated [*]. While the occasional tantrum is normal, frequent emotional outbursts aren’t, and may be due to the following causes.
Emotional immaturity
Young children aren’t equipped to manage the entire spectrum of emotions, and specific circumstances may trigger them disproportionately. For example, an emotionally immature child might have an outburst when they feel criticized, frustrated over not being able to perform a task, experiencing changes in their routine, or are tired.
Unmet needs
Children might have emotional outbursts because of unmet needs, such as a lack of safety, connection, and respect. This might also include a lack of physical needs, including adequate sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Difficulty expressing emotions
When children struggle to communicate their feelings, they often feel they have no other choice but to express themselves physically. They may become frustrated and resort to hitting or yelling as a way of conveying their stress.
Stress, anxiety, or big transitions
Anxiety is a major contributor to emotional outbursts. Anxious children tend to be more fearful and irritable than their peers. They are more easily triggered and experience frequent crying and difficulties relaxing.
Stress is another contributing factor, as it activates a child’s fight-or-flight response. When children are too emotionally immature to handle stress, they experience emotional meltdowns.
Poor stress management also manifests during transitory periods such as moving cities, losing a family member, or having a new sibling. Even positive changes can sometimes feel overwhelming and lead to meltdowns.
Modeling and environment
A child’s emotional environment shapes their emotional responses to triggers [*]. If a child is exposed to an unsafe home environment where people frequently yell, argue, and lash out, this can become learned behavior.
What Emotional Outbursts Look Like by Age
Emotional outbursts manifest differently according to age. Toddlers may show their frustration through tantrums, while teenagers have more complex expressions.
Toddlers
In toddlers, temper tantrums are the most common form of emotional outbursts. They might cry, scream, hit, and even hurt themselves out of frustration or a lack of control over the situation. Sometimes, toddlers will have outbursts in an attempt to explore and push their boundaries.
Preschoolers
Because preschoolers have enhanced verbal expression, they might rely more on their words during emotional outbursts. For example, while relying heavily on physical reactions, they might say, “I want it now!” or “I don’t like this!”
School-Aged Kids
While school-aged kids may still experience the occasional temper tantrum, outbursts may feel more “controlled.” For instance, a school-aged child might display their disdain for something through verbal aggression or defiance. They might yell during arguments or walk away and slam their bedroom door.
Teens
Teenagers express emotional outbursts through a complex range of behaviors, including verbal and physical aggression. When they are triggered by stress, hormones, and mood swings, they might yell, argue, throw things, or become withdrawn.
How to Help Kids Cope With Emotional Outbursts
While emotional outbursts aren’t always preventable, there are ways to make them less frequent and severe.
Stay calm
Becoming reactive will just escalate the situation. Remain calm, even when they seem out of control. Help ground your child by reducing stimulation. Dim the lights, eliminate distractions, and ensure the space is quiet.
By staying calm, you’re also teaching your child what kind of behavior you expect from them. When they start to relax, praise this behavior by saying, “Good job calming down.”
Validate their feelings
Acknowledge your child’s feelings without judgment. Say things like, “I see that you’re really upset right now.” When they start to calm down, find ways to address these feelings. For example, if your child is recovering from an angry outburst, suggest calming activities like squeezing a stress ball or saying positive affirmations for anger.
Teach coping strategies
Coping strategies can help children redirect their anger and frustration toward something more productive. When developing coping strategies with your child, pick something age-appropriate. For example, younger children may fare better with simple exercises like square breathing, which is easy to follow.
On the other hand, teenagers might prefer coping strategies they can do on their own, such as journaling or engaging in physical activities. Remember to advocate for the benefits of physical activity and encourage your child to try activities they enjoy.
Create a supportive environment
It can be challenging to address emotional outbursts when your child is in a stressful environment. Create a supportive environment at home and school by making your family and your child’s teachers aware of their situation.
Share techniques and coping mechanisms that work for your child. At home, create an organized space for homework and designate a quiet corner for when they feel overwhelmed.
How to Prevent Future Outbursts
When preventing future outbursts, it’s best to be proactive rather than reactive. Establishing clear expectations can prevent the outburst from even happening. For example, if your child tends to have emotional outbursts when they’re impatient, providing a predictable and structured routine at home can lower the chances of these occurring.
Another method of preventing future outbursts is to identify your child’s triggers. Attend to their basic needs, such as when they’re hungry or tired.
When to Seek Professional Help
It’s best to seek professional help for your child’s emotional outbursts under the following circumstances:
- The outbursts are interfering with their daily routine.
- They are hurting themselves or others.
- The outbursts are increasing in frequency and intensity.
The Bottom Line
Emotional outbursts can be mentally and physically exhausting for your child. However, with the right coping strategies, home and school support, and time to reflect on triggers, your child can overcome these episodes.
Looking for other ways to equip your child? Explore our collection of worksheets to find strategies that work.
FAQs About Emotional Outbursts
Are emotional outbursts a sign of a disorder?
Emotional outbursts can be a sign of a disorder, though this isn’t always necessarily the case. Repeated and sudden episodes of aggressive and impulsive behavior or intense acts of violence can be linked to various problems. If you notice your child acting in ways that endanger themselves and others, seek help immediately.
How long do outbursts typically last?
Emotional outbursts in children typically last up to 15 minutes. As children grow older and learn to cope with their emotions, the outbursts become shorter and less frequent.
What’s the difference between a tantrum and an emotional outburst?
The difference between a tantrum and an emotional outburst is the intensity of both experiences. Tantrums are more common in young children and usually occur when they don’t get what they want. Emotional outbursts, on the other hand, tend to be more intense and sudden. Emotional outbursts aren’t always tied to a specific trigger and can happen any time, whereas tantrums are often the result of a child not getting what they want.
Sources:
- Carlson GA, Singh MK, Amaya-Jackson L, et al. “Narrative Review: Impairing Emotional Outbursts: What They Are and What We Should Do About Them.” Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 2023.
- Paulus FW, Ohmann S, Möhler E, Plener P, Popow C. “Emotional Dysregulation in Children and Adolescents With Psychiatric Disorders.” A Narrative Review. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 2021.
- Singh MK, Hu R, Miklowitz DJ. “Preventing Irritability and Temper Outbursts in Youth by Building Resilience.” Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 2021.
