How Emotional Growth Helps You Succeed in Life

We all have moments of regret. “I wish I had never said that.” “I should’ve been kinder.” “I could’ve done more to make sure that didn’t happen.” But willpower alone won’t get you far enough. The missing piece is emotional growth.

Emotional growth is what makes us better friends, decision-makers, and problem-solvers. In this article, we’ll examine what emotional growth looks like, how to cultivate it, and how you can use it for a more fulfilling life.

What is Emotional Growth?

Emotional growth is how we learn to identify, understand, and manage our emotions through life [*]. Practicing it makes us more self-aware, resilient, and communicative.

There are a few key components of emotional growth, which include the following:

1. Self-Awareness: the ability to identify emotions and recognize the relationship between how you feel and behave
2. Self-Regulation: the ability to express emotions appropriately, manage conflict healthily, and adapt well to change
3. Motivation: the innate ability to pursue ambitious goals, develop a high need for achievement, make commitments, and take initiative without needing external validation
4. Empathy: the ability ot understand and accept other perspectives and interpret situations reliant on power dynamics
5. Social skills: the ability to build meaningful relationships with others, listen actively during conversations, and interact positively

Emotional growth typically happens in stages, from birth to adulthood [*].

Stage one is about noticing emotions. Newborns can’t express how they feel in words, so you’ll want to pay close attention to their crying, cooing, and babbling. Creating a safe and consistent environment for a child in this stage of development is crucial for how they learn to regulate in the future.

During the second stage, a child will start expressing themselves through words, art, and, occasionally, unwanted behaviors. At this stage, children are still unfamiliar with healthy and unhealthy expressions, so parents and caregivers need to offer positive reinforcement and support.

The third stage is emotion management. Now is the best time to start introducing helpful coping strategies, such as deep breathing, hugging a stuffed toy, or expressing their feelings to a trusted adult.

Why Emotional Growth is Important

People who experience positive emotional growth tend to be more successful in their home, academic, professional, and social lives.

Because emotional growth involves learning to accept and understand different (and even opposing) perspectives, it makes you a better friend. Even when disagreeing with a loved one, you’ll have the capacity to respect and accept their point of view.

When you’re mature enough to accept that things don’t always work out according to plan, you’re also less likely to experience chronic stress. Someone who embraces emotional growth is better-prepared to handle challenges without feeling stuck.

The ability to emotionally regulate gives us control and clarity because we aren’t letting our feelings get the best of us. We feel more capable in the face of stress and are less afraid of making mistakes (and learning from them).

Research shows that the commitment to emotional growth has clear links to better long-term mental health. When we’re able to regulate emotionally , we’re less likely to develop symptoms of depression, anxiety, and emotional distress [*]. Using adaptive emotional strategies also increases life satisfaction and gives us a sense of purpose [*].

Signs of Emotional Growth

You’ll know you’re maturing emotionally when you notice the following:

• Being more flexible: Emotionally mature people won’t “freak out” when Plan A doesn’t work. Instead, they’ll consider Plan B and even Plan C.
• Taking accountability: If you’re emotionally mature, “sorry” is a common word in your vocabulary, and you always mean it. You can own up to your mistakes and learn how to do better next time.
• Being open to other perspectives: When you disagree with someone, you take things a step further and seek their point of view. You’re open to learning something new to better inform your values and beliefs.
• Staying calm and resilient: When you experience a setback, you can acknowledge your feelings of frustration, anger, or sadness without letting them dictate your next move.

How to Cultivate Emotional Growth

Working on your emotional growth is a lifelong journey. Here are some ways you can work emotional growth into your daily routine.

Practice self-awareness

Self-awareness allows you to reflect on your capabilities and limitations. One way to practice this type of self-reflection is through journaling. Constant reflection helps you notice patterns and observe how you respond to stress.

Gratitude journaling is another way to build empathy and self-esteem. Listing what you are thankful for each day helps you identify personal values and what makes you feel fulfilled.

You can teach a child to be more mindful of their thoughts and actions using printable self-awareness worksheets. These worksheets include simple daily activities, such as ticking off a mental health checklist, learning the signs of anger, and tracking emotions.

Pause before reacting

Pausing before you react breaks the cycle of emotional impulse. When you react too quickly, you risk saying or doing something you might regret.

A simple trick to pausing before reacting is implementing the 10-second rule. When you’re feeling too emotional to respond kindly or rationally, count to ten before you speak. If necessary, you can step away physically and add mental distance from the stressor.

Accept your emotions

It can be tempting to resist emotions when they feel too painful to accept. But embracing those emotions can make you a better decision-maker, especially when you can separate your gut feeling from what you should do next.

Accepting emotions requires persistent practice, which you can do through activities like mindfulness. The foundation of mindfulness is being present with your emotions and reflecting on them non-judgmentally.

Practice emotional regulation

People who emotionally regulate make mature decisions, even when it’s hard. Practicing this aspect of emotional growth starts with exploring your own behaviors and responses.

When you encounter a difficult situation, remind yourself that you have three options: approach, avoid, or attack. Be honest about whether a situation makes you want to run away or lash out. Monitor your body for signs of change, like a faster heart rate or sweaty palms, then restore your inner balance with helpful coping mechanisms.

Emotional regulation is a demanding skill for children to master, especially when they’re young. Helping kids with emotional regulation involves teaching them to label emotions, demonstrating what healthy regulation looks like, and being patient with their progress.

Improve how you communicate

A good communicator understands the emotions and intentions behind a conversation. When you apply positive communication skills like active listening, trust, and respect, you become a better friend.

Becoming a better communicator begins by noticing what you need to improve. Do you tend to lose focus in the middle of conversations? Are you misreading people because of external factors, such as stress? Are you using negative body language, such as frowning or crossing your arms?

When you find the answers to these questions, start brainstorming solutions. Put distractions away to improve your focus. Avoid interrupting the other person. Study their non-verbal cues.

Reflect on your experiences

Self-reflection is a simple and easy way to get to know yourself better. When we understand our inner workings, we often feel more grounded, aligned with our core values, and more accountable for our actions.

One way to reflect every morning and evening is to ask yourself open-ended questions. For example, before you start your day, ask yourself, “What have I been doing lately that makes me happy?”

Set healthy boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries lets us retain our identity, be respectfully assertive, and sustain positive relationships. We can set boundaries in every aspect of our lives: relationships, career, and health.

To set healthy boundaries, start by reflecting on your core values. Include what makes you feel safe, what goals matter most to you, and how much time and energy you’re willing to dedicate to different people and settings.

Clearly communicate these boundaries with the people in your life. Know how to respond when someone else sets their boundaries with you.

When teaching a child how to set boundaries, focus on modeling what these boundaries look like and helping them use firm, age-appropriate language.

Challenge negative thoughts

Challenging negative thoughts doesn’t mean we’re not going to have them. But reframing these thoughts can keep you from spiraling. 

When you have a negative thought, separate the facts from your opinion. For example, if you’re thinking, “My friend was quite short-tempered with me today,” you might incorrectly assume that they’re angry with you for an unknown reason. Instead, seek an alternative and realistic explanation, such as, “They might be having a bad day. Maybe they didn’t get enough sleep last night. I won’t assume that it’s about me.”

Finally, turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Remind yourself that you’ve been a good friend, and that you’re happy to lend a helping hand if they choose to open up to you.

The Bottom Line

With the right tools, stress doesn’t have to feel unmanageable. Working on our emotional growth makes us feel capable, worthy, and ready to handle the ups and downs of everyday life.

If you’re introducing emotional growth to your child for the first time, use our feelings worksheets and browse our anxiety collection and stress management worksheets to help them manage stress and challenges.

Sources:

1. Riediger M, Bellingtier JA. “Emotion Regulation Across the Life Span.” The Oxford Handbook of Emotional Development, 2022.
2. Paley B, Hajal NJ. “Conceptualizing Emotion Regulation and Coregulation as Family-Level Phenomena.” Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2022.
3. Extremera N, Sánchez-Álvarez N, Rey L. “Pathways between Ability Emotional Intelligence and Subjective Well-Being: Bridging Links through Cognitive Emotion Regulation Strategies.” Sustainability, 2020.
4. Lacomba-Trejo L, Mateu-Mollá J, Bellegarde-Nunes MD, Delhom I. “Are Coping Strategies, Emotional Abilities, and Resilience Predictors of Well-Being? Comparison of Linear and Non-Linear Methodologies.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 2022.