Before asking for something or saying no to a request, you must decide how intensely you want to hold your ground. Options range from very low intensity, where you are very flexible and accepting of the situation, to very high intensity, where you are firm in holding your ground. The level of intensity translates to how badly you want it, and it varies depending on the needs of the individual and the specific situation.
The Intensity Options When Asking Or Saying No DBT Handout shares useful information about this interpersonal effectiveness skill which includes an intensity level scale of how badly you want something or need to say no. The lower the intensity, the more likely clients are to give in to the situation, and the higher the intensity, the more firm they will be in their decision.
This handout helps kids and teens weigh their options, know their priorities, and make better decisions. Caring adults can have an engaging discussion with their child to explain their choices and give them guidance if needed.
This handout can be paired with our DBT Determining Intensity Of Asking Handout, which describes 10 factors to consider when making a request or refusing something.
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References:
- Speed, B. C., Goldstein, B. L., & Goldfried, M. R. (2017). Assertiveness training: A forgotten evidence-based treatment. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 25(1).
